Keeping Readers Happy
| MAKES NO PROMISE AWARDS NO PRIZES |
MAKES AND DELIVERS ON A PROMISE WITH A PRIZE |
| We keep hearing about the controversy of vaping. Again this week there has been more news about the kinds of problems it can cause for teenagers depending on who they buy their products from. | Most of the teen vapers who died this year, and hundreds who suffer with serious lung ailments, purchased and consumed bootleg e-cigarettes filled with mysterious and dangerous ingredients. |
Promises and prizes are the heart of communication. Like music fans who need a melody to follow, or movie watchers who trace a storyline, readers need both periodic promises of evidence to come and the fulfillment of those promises.
If we fail to make tantalizing promises to pique their interest, or if we neglect to award the prizes that we’ve promised, our readers will go in search of a better deal.
The red text above buries its promise in vague and inconsequential language. The green text makes robust claims about the very same subject matter and in the same number of words makes promises and delivers prizes.
Three Billion Canaries in the Coal Mine
What does it mean for us that birds are dying? And what can we do about it?
By Margaret Renkl
Contributing Opinion Writer
Sept 29, 2019
A Magnolia Warbler found recently on a suburban lawn in the northeast.
In the opening paragraph,
look for promises in green and prizes in blue.
NASHVILLE — During the nearly quarter-century that my family has lived in this house, the changes in our neighborhood have become increasingly apparent: fewer trees and wildflowers, fewer bees and butterflies and grasshoppers, fewer tree frogs and songbirds. I told myself the changes were circumstantial and part of our increasing urbanization. To provide a way station for migrating wildlife, I put up nest boxes for the birds and let wildflowers bloom out before mowing. I trusted they would be fine once they got out of Nashville to rural Tennessee. I was wrong.
A new study in the journal Science reports that nearly 3 billion North American birds have disappeared since 1970. That’s 29 percent of all birds on this continent. This is not a report that projects future losses on the basis of current trends. It is not an update on the state of rare birds already in trouble. This study enumerates actual losses of familiar species — ordinary backyard birds like sparrows and swifts, swallows and blue jays. The anecdotal evidence from my own yard, it turns out, is everywhere.
You may have heard of the proverbial canary in the coal mine — caged birds whose sensitivity to lethal gasses served as an early-warning system to coal miners; if the canary died, they knew it was time to flee. Ornithologists John W. Fitzpatrick explains, “Birds are indicator species, serving as acutely sensitive barometers of environmental health, and their mass declines signal that the earth’s biological systems are in trouble.”
Unlike the miners of old, we have nowhere safe to flee. Nevertheless, the current administration has been rolling back existing environmental protections faster than environmentalists can respond to the ceaseless bad news.
The Forgotten History of
America’s Worst Racial Massacre
Hundreds of black citizens were killed in Elaine, Ark., a century ago this week.
By Nan Elizabeth Woodruff
Sept. 30, 2019
Attendees view the Elaine massacre memorial at a dedication on Sept. 29.
One hundred years ago this week, one of the worst episodes of racial violence in American history unfolded in Elaine, Ark., a small town in the Mississippi Delta. Details remain difficult to verify. The perpetrators suppressed coverage of the events, and the victims, terrified black families, had no one to turn for help. In fact, local police were complicit in the killing of untold numbers of African-Americans.
The Elaine massacre took place in a region, the Delta, that defined itself by its violence and oppression. One African-American, William Pickens, described the Mississippi Delta as “the American Congo.” Elaine, though an isolated plantation region, was part of the broader social upheaval following World War I that came in the form of massive strikes and racial confrontations, both at home and abroad.
In Elaine, in the early fall of 1919, a different struggle for democracy was taking place. Emboldened by their war experience, African-American veterans returned to the Delta to demand the full rights of citizenship and justice, not only before the law but also in their labors. In Phillips County, this struggle directly challenged planter dominance.
The town was at the center of a rapidly changing lumber and plantation economy known for harsh working conditions. Sharecroppers worked the land for a small share of the crop and were forced to sell their cotton to the landowners, who paid less than market prices. Workers also had to buy food, clothing, household wares, tools, seed and fertilizer at the plantation commissary, which charged exorbitant interest rates. It was a system intended to keep black people in debt and dependent upon planters. Legal disfranchisement stripped them of the vote and an ability to share in any benefits of citizenship.
What Kind of Problem Is Climate Change?
Knowing the answer might force us toward a real solution.
By Alex Rosenberg
Sept. 30, 2019
Blue sky reflected in the floodwaters of Hurricane Florence
If the summer heat, followed by Hurricane Dorian, hasn’t convinced you that climate change is real, probably nothing will. Those of us convinced will want to mitigate it if we can. Doing that requires understanding the different kinds of problems climate change presents. They are economic, political and philosophical. The three kinds of problems are inextricably intertwined. That’s one lesson taught by the relatively new discipline of politics, philosophy and economics (PPE).
PPE has been the name for this subject since it was first introduced at Oxford after World War I. Now it’s taught at a hundred or more American universities, combining intellectual resources to come to grips with complex human issues.
To recognize the problems facing any attempt to mitigate climate change, we need to start with a technical term from economics: “public good.”
Put aside the ordinary meaning of these two words. In economic theory, a public good is not a commodity like schools or roads provided to the public by the government. It’s a good with two properties absent in other commodities, including schools and roads. First, a public good is consumed non-rivalrously: No matter how much of it one person consumes, there’s always just as much left for others.
Street lighting is an example: When I consume as much as I want of the nighttime safety it provides, there is still as much left for you. We are not rivals in consumption of a public good. Public schools aren’t public goods in this sense. The more attention your child gets, the less time the teacher has for mine.
Second, a public good is not excludable: There is no way I can consume street lighting without its being available to you at the same time. The only way to exclude you from consumption is to turn it off. But then I can’t consume it. Public schools are excludable goods. Your child can be expelled. So schools are not public goods.
The Paris climate accord set a target of keeping global temperatures from rising more than 1.5 degrees Celsius. That outcome would be a public good. I can’t consume any of this good unless it’s there for you too, and no matter how much of it I consume in personal benefit, that won’t reduce the amount you can consume.
Of course, as with street lighting, some people will benefit more, maybe even much more from a public good, than others. It’s regrettably true that women’s lives are generally more improved by street lighting than men’s lives are. Mitigating climate change isn’t going to benefit everyone equally. But it can’t benefit anyone without benefiting everyone, and no matter how much I benefit, there will be some benefit left for you.
This is where politics and philosophy come in. As with all other public goods, limiting climate change is subject to what is called a prisoner’s dilemma: If the rest of the world’s major polluters get together to curb emissions, the United States doesn’t have to and will still benefit. On the other hand, if China, the European Union, India, Russia and South Korea do nothing, there’s no point in the United States even trying. It can’t solve the problem alone. It looks as if either way, the United States should do nothing to curb its own emissions. If leaders of these other governments reason the same way, the result is likely to be catastrophic weather extremes everywhere.
At a Cambodian Lake, a Climate Crisis Unfolds
A trifecta of climate change, hydropower dams and illegal fishing are threatening the Tonle Sap, and the people who rely on its fish.
By Abby Seiff
Sept. 30, 2019
Fishermen unload their catch in Chong Khneas, a village on Tonle Sap lake
in December 2018. The region has been heavily effected by drought.
When I first met Ly Heng in May 2016, the forest behind his house was still smoldering from the fires brought on by the worst drought to hit Southeast Asia in decades. Heng lived along a small river at the top of Cambodia’s Tonle Sap Lake, in a protected area known for its rich biodiversity. At 45, he had never seen wildfires, and never seen the water level of the lake dip so low. Charred sticks and leaves crunched underfoot while Heng led me through the woodland, recounting his neighbors’ efforts to keep the fire from incinerating their houses.
“This is the first time it’s this dry, and the first time the forest burned up,” he said.
Tonle Sap Lake is the largest body of freshwater in Southeast Asia. Its wetlands support critically endangered species like the Bengal florican; its sediment provides nutrients for croplands; its fisheries are among the largest and most biodiverse in the world. And it has reached a tipping point.
Just three years after the 2016 drought, another hit the region earlier this year. Local and global leaders should agree to stem the mushrooming of environmentally destructive hydropower dams, combat illegal fishing and mitigate the impacts of global warming. If such action is not taken soon, the Tonle Sap’s days are numbered. With it will vanish an ecosystem that has supported millions of Cambodians and their neighbors for centuries.
Like the Mekong River as a whole, Tonle Sap Lake is beset by problems both local and global. In recent years, a trifecta of climate change, overfishing and the creation of new dams has threatened to unmake the Tonle Sap.
This year, the rains didn’t arrive in May, or June, or July. They didn’t come until August, borne on a series of storms so powerful that thousands had to be evacuated. The Mekong River reached a grim milestone: It dipped to its lowest levels since modern recording began.
Each time the Mekong reaches a new low, the pulse that keeps Tonle Sap Lake alive slows. This year, according to officials, the water in the Tonle Sap River reversed course in July — about two months late. Soon, the only river in the world to reverse seasonally may not switch direction at all.
In-Class Task for WED NOV 01
- As a Reply below, cut and paste the first paragraph of your Definition Argument. With green and blue coding in mind, decide for yourself how many GREEN promises you’ve made and how many BLUE prizes you’ve delivered.
- Be tough on yourself; you know I will be.
- Now that you’ve taken inventory, below your original paragraph, type a REVISED version (not merely edited), that makes and keeps meaningful promises.
The Gamer 2.0
SleepyCat
Coffee Lover 03
doglover7025
Snowman10
excellentstudent27
Gymrat
hockeyfan
holistic25
ilovebeesss
ilovemydog
The Gamer
Naturechild101
BreakingBad45
ravensfan8
temporal111
thatpersonoverthere
toetio
username1132005
Calm&Patient
webbwrestler135
Counterintuitive Spring 2024 
Starting last year, Major League Baseball changed the rules of the game and implemented a pitch-clock. This stopped batters from taking their time doing their rituals or routines before stepping into the box for an at-bat. It prevented pitchers from playing around on the mound for a long amount of time and to stop trying to pick off the runners on base as much. The pitch-clock was implemented to create more action on the basepaths between runners and to speed the game up for the fans. It tended more to the casual fans of the game because they complained baseball games were too long.
I made one promise with two prizes to that one promise. I did not do very good with giving both promises and prizes. I did not give any prizes besides that one promise. I should have added more promises. There were not enough promises for the amount of prizes.
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I hope this exercise demonstrated a simple and effective way to improve ther persuasiveness of your essays, EaglesFan.
This earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Username
The rise of homeless people around the world has skyrocketed over the years, but right now in America, the rates are at an all time high. In 2024 there are said to be around half a million homeless, who are either in shelters or living out on the streets. Some of these homeless people are all alone, while others are blessed with having a companion, in the form of a dog. Dogs offer constant love and are good for keeping their owners mentally stable. The homeless out in the world most likely lack getting love and companionship, which having a dog could fill that void. The benefits from having a dog alongside a homeless person has endless positives, and is something that many out there fighting for their lives could benefit from.
There are not a lot of promises and prizes in this first paragraph, but the last sentence seems to be a prize of the sentence before it because of how I was saying homeless need more companionship, and then the next sentence is talking about how dogs can help. This gives insight onto what the paper is going to be on. Throughout this paragraph I say a lot about what dogs have to offer, which would be the promise and now I have to give the prize and go into detail about how they are truly helping the homeless.
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Username
I could make more of a promise by making my opening sentences more dramatic and adding detail to really get the reader hooked. I could say something like, “The people who are out on the streets could have absolutely nothing, and are hanging on by a thread. ” I could add that in as my third sentence to make it more engaging.
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How’s this?:
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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In the 1960s and 1970s rock was in its “golden era.” This era consisted of rock bands from all over the world that produced not only earworms but songs that could make a difference in people’s lives and what they believed in. During the “golden era” of rock, artists used their music as a vehicle for rebellion and social reform, while now rock lacks in those categories with fewer artists using their platforms for societal reformation and change.
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It’s a common mistake to think that the Introduction is pure Promise, ILoveMyDog, but readers need to be encouraged that you’re not just teasing them with empty pledges to deliver the goods at some time.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Throughout the timeline of humanity there is one constant. Humanity has learned and evolved and through that human expression has also evolved. This can be seen with the existence of cave drawings up to paintings in chapels. While these two examples range in complexity they are still examples of human expression and experience.
I have made one promise in the first sentence along with a reward in the second paragraph and I can make an argument for the third one as well. And the fourth sentence is also a promise in a sence as I promise to write more about human expression, though it seems to come out of nowhere.
Anyone has the ability to make art. Art has a very loose definition that can be seen throughout history. This is seen with cave drawings that illustrated the surroundings of our ancestors to the invocate paintings dedicated to gods we worshiped in chapels. Though this has somewhat changed in the modern day.
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Anyone has the ability to make art. Art has a very loose definition that can be seen throughout history. This is seen with cave drawings that illustrated the surroundings of our ancestors to the invocate paintings dedicated to gods we worshiped in chapels. Though this has somewhat changed in the modern day.
—It’s a good start, TPOT.
—Beware the deadly “This”s and “It”s.
—”This is seen” means what, exactly?
—”This has somewhat changed” means what, exactly?
How’s this:?
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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College students are constantly exposed to stress and anxiety and, like any other human being, they need to somehow free themselves from these feelings and emotions (promise). Let’s say I’m a college student and I’m afraid of failing a class. Am I going to cry about that? Of course, I will because I’m not just dealing with one situation. If I am about to fail a class consecutively, I am failing myself, since it means that I am not as good or as intelligent as I thought. It also means that my family, who expects me to succeed, will also be disappointed. That means suddenly my future is in doubt. I could lose financial assistance that will help me build a future. Which would make me have to find a fair justification to explain what I was doing instead of finishing the classwork, which would make me feel guilty and maybe even ashamed (prize). I’m not crying about failure, it’s a disappointment, a feeling of worthlessness and helplessness (promise). This is the reason why college students are under stress because there is nothing simple about a situation and our reactions are multiple and it is really difficult to reconcile multiple reactions to a single situation (prize).The concrete thing is that crying causes an individual to have a reaction, whether positive or negative depending on the type of tears that the individual is dealing with (promise).
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You appear to have done a good job of “setting your readers up” to receive your conclusions, ILoveBees. Did the exercise help you put the practice into perspective?
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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HockeyFan- Hockey is a sport played across the world. It ranges from Town Leagues, to National Leagues. This sport is enjoyed by people all over, of all age ranges, but now it poses a safety question. Safety is defined as a condition of being protected or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury. Now you may be asking yourself aren’t all National League sports dangerous? The answer would be yes, however the statement I am making is that Hockey is the most dangerous. Hockey should be more regulated, as well as protected when it comes to the gear the players wear on the ice.
Hockey is an exciting, and entertaining sport to watch. The sport is constructed of all different leauges ranging from rec leauges, all the way to national leauges. This sport is enjoyed by people all over, of all age ranges, but now it poses a safety question. Safety is defined as a condition of being protected or unlikely to cause danger, risk, or injury. Now you may be asking yourself aren’t all National League sports dangerous? The answer would be yes, however the statement I am making is that Hockey is the most dangerous. Hockey should be more regulated, as well as protected when it comes to the gear the players wear on the ice.
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I appreciate the improvements, HockeyFan. Start naming your thesis before your reader gets bored.
How’s this?:
A large part of the attraction of most sports is watching athletes put themselves in danger. It’s more obvious in ski jumping than figure skating, but we wouldn’t be nearly as riveted by a triple lutz if it didn’t present a clear risk of a skater in a tutu breaking her neck. Hockey is an exciting and entertaining sport to watch, partly because we wouldn’t be caught dead facing off against big bodies carrying sharp sticks and barreling toward us on sharp blades. But it doesn’t have to be as dangerous as it is. A few small changes could make the game safer and no less exciting.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Revised Paragraph:
“As time goes on, people become more creative because society’s needs change. Our creative work, like building temples or painting caves long ago, has always been useful, showing what we’ve been through and what we care about. Today, we’re still being creative, especially in finding new ways to make energy without hurting the planet. We’re using things like burning waste and capturing wave power to show how we’re adapting to protect the environment.”
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Over time, the creative spirit of humanity has changed in tandem with the demands and goals of society. Our creative expressions, which reflect our experiences and values, have frequently served useful purposes, from intricate temple designs to prehistoric cave art. The search for sustainable energy sources in the modern era, like biomass burning alongside coal and wave energy, is a reflection of this constant process of innovation and adaptation.
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These are both very fine, Snowman.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Mattresses Are Making Us Sick
Like the food we put into our mouths, our skin also eats. The skin is the largest organ of the body, and certainly the most vulnerable entry point for toxins to wreak havoc on our system.
Logically, the items we clothe ourselves with and sleep on must certainly impact our overall well-being. From the never-ending supply of material produced by the textile industry, the waters are tougher to navigate than ever.
Manufacturers are not even required to disclose all materials they use, like in a mattress. There’s a vast range of suspect chemicals in our environment that leach into our bedding. From flame retardants to VOC’s, what do these all mean and why are they important to us?
PROMISES: a)”the skin is the largest organ of the body, and certainly the most vulnerable entry point for toxins to wreak havoc on our system.” b) “From the never-ending supply of material produced by the textile industry, the waters are tougher to navigate than ever.”
PRIZES: a)”the items we clothe ourselves with and sleep on must certainly impact our overall well-being.” b)”There’s a vast range of suspect chemicals in our environment that leach into our bedding.”
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My initial critique: my opening is too information based, having some promises/prizes, but needs to be more captivating.
Mattresses Are Making Us Sick
Your asthma is due to a result your mother never told you about. It’s not by some chance occurrence that you have asthma, but rather it’s the mere place where you rest your very head at night. Synthetic material from our mattresses, sheets, and your pillows are causing multiple chemical sensitivity (MCS), an array of respiratory systems that are caused by unnatural chemicals in our environment.
The items we clothe ourselves in and sleep on make or break our respiratory health. There’s a vast range of suspect chemicals in our environment that leach into our bedding. From flame retardants to VOC’s, what do these all mean and why are they important to us?
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That’s the idea. Now, get rid of the Rhetorical Question, which is neither Promise nor Prize. Instead of providing anything, it asks the reader for information. It’s like asking a kid what would you like for dessert when all you have is pudding. You have to tell the reader there’s pudding and make them want it.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Throughout time working out has been thought to only help you with physical benefits. Like staying in shape and being healthy. What if I told you there are not only physical benefits from working out but cognitive mental acuity. Leading to a healthier mindset and mental health. Working out can actually help you alter the way you approach obstacles. It also can help you from getting mental disorders.
I made some promises in my first paragraph that I think the reader could stay and keep reading. I left somethings out maybe and could have added a bit more. I gave a promise and delivered with a prize.
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Not bad, RavensFan, but it’s vague where it doesn’t have to be. The sooner you can provide data for claims like these the better.
How’s this?:
Regular physical exercise—of a particular type—is as beneficial for our brains as for our bodies. In a study done at the University of British Columbia, researchers found that regular aerobic exercise, the kind that gets your heart and your sweat glands pumping, appears to boost the size of the hippocampus, the brain area involved in verbal memory and learning. Resistance training, balance and muscle toning exercises did not have the same results.
Everything after the first sentence is a direct quote from here:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/regular-exercise-changes-brain-improve-memory-thinking-skills-201404097110
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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DogLover- The impact of being mean to someone can be intense. (promise).It can lead to feelings of sadness, or anger. It can lead to a low self-confidence, and behavioral responses.(prize) The people that are hateful just get to hide behind a screen for example, being mean and negative, but don’t have to deal with the negative effects. That’s the issue with social media. Some random person can sit in the room behind a screen and tear another person down, but does not receive any negative reprcussions.
I made some promises, but I need to add some more
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It wanders, DogLover. You have two characters having different experiences and you make observations about them randomly.
How’s this?:
It’s well known that drivers of rental cars are far more likely to crash their temporary vehicles than cars they own. They have less attachment to the rented cars, can replace them more easily, and generally care less about the damage they do. The same, it seems, is true of users of social media. They’re much more likely to abuse other users of the platform if they can escape the consequences of the damage their words can do. They don’t see the sadness and anger they inflict. Their anonymity is similar to a tourist’s, who won’t be around next week to run into someone he’s hurt at the supermarket. Hate speech on the internet could be radically reduced if the speaker suffered consequences.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Oftentimes, people might tell others that they’re speaking incorrectly, or that they’re language is inappropriate or impure. Although this can be true if they’re syntax is completely unintelligible, many times, this can have no meaning outside of pure elitism. Many attempts at trying to purify language is a result of the wealthy upper class not accepting the language of the poorer class.
I make the promise that others often claim others are speaking incorrectly and the prize is that this has no meaning outside of elitism, and not accepting the poorer class.
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There appear to be several promises in your first sentence, and several prizes in your second, but they don’t match up.
Oftentimes, people might tell others that they’re speaking incorrectly,
—Does this happen when THEIR syntax is completely unintelligible?
or that THEIR language is inappropriate
—When does this happen? How often is it justifiable?
or that THEIR language is impure.
—When does this happen? How often is it unjustifiable?
Unintelligibility is about being misunderstood or indecipherable. Inappropriateness means I was clearly understood but that my comment is badly timed or directed at the wrong audience, intended to harm or simply oblivious to consequences. Impure means it’s a blend of good and bad, right and wrong, proper and improper, or some other blend of features.
We can’t tell what to expect for prizes until we know what you’ve promised.
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Hand Gestures are a means by which people can communicate with each other without the use of words. Hand gestures are used in nearly all human cultures for a variety of reasons. One reason why hand gestures may be used is to facilitate trade over a language barrier. Hospitals can provide an excellent example of hand gestures being used in this way. Hospitals especially in bigger cities have to treat people from all sorts of ethnic and linguistic backgrounds. In most cases the patient will speak the primary language of the country the hospital is located in, however, it is not unheard of for a patient to lack fluency in the local language.
The two sentences below are the only two promises and prizes which I identified in my definition argument.
Hand gestures are used in nearly all human cultures for a variety of reasons.(promise)
One reason why hand gestures may be used is to facilitate trade over a language barrier.(prize)
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Patients listening to a doctor explain a diagnosis can be forgiven for thinking they’re hearing a foreign language. But that sense of helplessness is radically—often dangerously—compounded when doctor and patient truly do not share a language. In such cases, hand gestures may carry most of the communication load.
What do you think? Promise and Prize?
Your response earns you credit toward your Daily Notes grade.
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Promise: New Balance shoes are the best shoes on the market.
Prize: Like other shoes, New Balance has been constantly improving, rising, and growing on the charts.
People have their preferences on how they would like their shoes; some like them for the fashion, the comfortability, and others for reasons of their own.
Promise: The shoes we wear usually strive to be of the highest quality, whether that’s the finest quality of leather, rubber, wool, polyester, etc.
Prize: The company is able to use 91% preferred leather and 64% preferred cotton in their manufacturing and is expected to reach 100% by 2025.
Prize: Other companies don’t compete within this range because they don’t reach numbers this close, and New Balance has a clear goal in mind: to be the number one shoe on the market.
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Promise: New Balance shoes are the best shoes on the market.
Prize: Like other shoes, New Balance has been constantly improving, rising, and growing on the charts.
Promise: People have their preferences on how they would like their shoes; some like them for the fashion, the comfortability, and others for reasons of their own.
Prize: Time and time again New Balance has proved themselves best at being able to provide the best quality shoes due to how long it’s been in the market for.
Promise: The shoes we wear usually strive to be of the highest quality, whether that’s the finest quality of leather, rubber, wool, polyester, etc.
Prize: The company is able to use 91% preferred leather and 64% preferred cotton in their manufacturing and is expected to reach 100% by 2025. Other companies don’t compete within this range because they don’t reach numbers this close, and New Balance has a clear goal in mind: to be the number one shoe on the market.
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I see you’re getting the hang of it, Gamer.
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