1 Response to Robust Verbs — Holistic 25

1. davidbdale says:

   April 2, 2024 at 11:02 am

   Very nice work overall, Holistic!

   The overarching problem of heroin addicts in Vancouver is the crimes they commit to support their habits. To address the crime rate, the program named “free heroin for addicts” has been created to mitigate heroin addicts from acting on their impulsive instincts to commit crimes to receive their heroin.

   —Your first sentence could benefit from a more robust verb than “The problem IS.”

   —Impulsive actions can be mitigated, but people cannot.

   —Is the meaning here that they must refrain from impulses “to receive their heroin”?

   Through the lens of policy makers, the problem lies in the large crime rate, thought to be instigated by these addictive patterns and behaviors by heroin addicts. Addictive behaviors pose a threat to daily livelihood, illuminated by instability in jobs and relationships.

   —Simple is SO much better if you can manage it, Holistic.

   —Couldn’t it be as simple as Policy makers see the addicts’ behavior as the problem?

   —Your second sentence strays from the focus on crimes against the populace. You might want to transition to Their behavior also threatens their own health.

   A tell-tale sign of addiction in a heroin addict is doing whatever they can to do to get their hands on the drug, even if that means committing crimes and stealing. Feeding addiction has no means to an end because addicts are continually trying to compensate for their insatiable craving for the drug.

   —I didn’t think Diagnosing addiction was a problem.

   —Your verbs are not robust. “A sign IS” and “Feeding HAS”

   Although the merit of the “free heroin for addicts” poses a touching sentiment, the program only addresses a symptom of heroin addicts, the crime rate. At face value, the program should reduce crime rate because the availability of the drug comes with no cost, monetarily and on a societal level.

   —Your problems “lie” and your merits “pose” or “address.”

   —Does the second sentence mean that addicts don’t have to rob Vancouverites for money to buy their drugs?

   In theory, the burden heroin addicts pose will be less to society. However, a more suitable program for heroin users, such as confronting their impulsive behaviors that accompany the drug, would address the problem at its core.

   —Is the meaning here that they must refrain from impulses “to receive their heroin”?

   If you’re willing to revise this, I’d recommend NOT LOOKING BACK AT THE ORIGINAL. Instead, consider your draft a new original, and make it the best, clearest, most direct and robust version you can.

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