Visual Rewrite—TheGamer

Marcus :30

0:00- Start off with an African American man with dreads. I’m guessing he is around the early to mid-20s based on his body size. The camera is framed behind getting a wide view giving the view the perpective of standing there behind. He seems to be holding a basketball in his left hand, wearing a yellow top and grey jeans with red Jordans. He seems to be looking off into the football field, but he’s on the other side of the fence, holding it with his right arm. The fence is black and taller than him. The field seems to be green, but you can also see where the baseball field is in its dried-up sand. In the far background, you can see the trees that lead into the forest. Continuing in the background, you can see cars that are blurred in the back and also a building. You can see the pole that projects light onto the field when it’s dark in the background as well. So it seems that he’s at field that could be located at a school based on the surrounding. With his posture it look like he is remising the days he used to play or maybe when he used to watch the game.

0:01- The camera is switching to a close-up view of the man, and we see that he is holding a football in his left hand. He also has a silver chain around his neck. He also wears a beard. And in the background, we can see a pole, a brick wall, and pavement next to it. It looks he imaginging the games that would or use to occur when he used to watch it.

0:02-0:04- We can see the full face of the man and that he has ear rings, and his hair is also tied back. He is still staring into the distance at the field, and the camera is capturing his full side profile now. We can guess that this field means a lot to him or that it holds lots of memorys. The way they pan the camera showing him gripping the fence gives the feeling of him wanting to hop in the field and play. We can see the roof of the building in the background.

0:04-0:07- We are giving him two images, and both of them show him who I’m guessing is Marcus. In the picture to the left, we can see that he is wearing Hardaway Jersey number 4, and it shows a younger Marcus im guessing when he used to play for the school. Hardaway sound like the name of a school of college but in this situtation I can tell that this looks like a school. We can see that he has no hair in the picture and barely any facial hair. In the background, we can see a brick wall and his shadow on it. There also still pictures shown they dont seemed framed just photos that seem to be taken early 2000’s based on the vintage look. On the picture on the right, we can see him wearing the same jersey this time with the helmet and pants, which are both white with a red stripe on them. We can see him jumping over the defender holding the football, so I’m guessing he is a running back. The defender is wearing all white with black and blue gloves with the Under Armour logo on them. It looks like Marcus is jumping over him, and he is falling, trying to drag him down.It seem that the two pictures are two different seasons becuase the numbers on jersey is different. The picture on the right seem to show a highlight play when hes jumping over the defender.

0:08-0:10-It shows him being interviewed based on where the camera is pointed and where he is looking, and it also tells us his full name and that he is a professional athlete displayed on the screen. We see that he is talking to someone and using his hands to explain something that he is saying. In the background, we can see that he is in the gym or weight room of the school because we see brick walls and weight equipment around him.

0:10-0:11-We get the same angle of the camera pointing upwards at his hand, but now we can see his full upper body, including his face and torso, and on his left hand, we see he has a ring on his ring finger, its dark gold and light gold on the edges. We can say that maybe he is married, or maybe his graduation ring from high school, or maybe just for fashion.

0:11-0:12- We see him throwing the football in the distance, and the camera is recording this from his back. We can only see him throwing the ball in the field but from where the camera is angled we can see if hes throwing at anyone or just to see how far he throws it. We can see from the distance that the field is long, there’s a little building that is red, and we can see the field goal post.What we can tell by form is that hes not a quarter back and from the pictures too that he might be a wide recieveror running back. There is also a tree there as well.

0:12-0:14-The camera is pointed from the front now, and we can see that he is next to the field goal post, so I’m guessing he is trying to throw the ball very far. We can see a building in the background, a fence, the scoreboard, and more fences. We also see many poles illuminating the field. We see that the singular building has a red-orange stripe on the side of it.

0:14-0:16- We can see he is now back in the interviewing room, and now the camera is close up to his face, only showing his face and shoulders, and we can see him point to the side of his head. He still has his chain on him and the same yellow top. In the back, we still see the weight for lifting and the same cream colored wall and red strip going along the wall.

0:16-0:18- We can see Marcus lifting up two kids around the ages of 4–8 based on their height. There is one boy and one girl, and they are both holding one basketball each, and Marcus is holding them up with both hands. He’s wearing a gray top and black pants. The girl is wearing a pink top and light blue jeans, and the boy is wearing a green top and light brown pants. It seems to be in a basketball court because we see the bleachers and the basketball hoop in the background, and it seems to be Marcus’s school basketball court because we see the logo of the Hartaway Hawks on the wall.

0:18-0:19- We see Marcus lifting up the boy, and we see him dunking the ball into the net. The boy has blue Nike shoes on too and a mini afro.

0:19-0:20- Marcus is shown hugging a woman close to him; she is also African American, and she has dreads on her head and is wearing a blue top.

0:20-0:23- We are shown all of the family; we see Marcus and the woman who was just hugging her earlier; she’s holding the boy we saw; and the little girl is sitting next to her. I’m guessing that is Marcus’s mother, and his father is next to her. Sitting next to him, we see a man who could be maybe another family member, maybe Marcus’ brother.

0:23-0:24- We can see the little boy in a close-up frame, and he is reaching out over a ledge with his right hand out. He’s also wearing a gray top now.

0:24-0:26- The camera is framed in the middle, where the family is all sitting close to each other facing the camera, and we see Marcus holding a football and the brother giving the little boy a lollipop.

0:26-0:30- We see a close-up view of Marcus, and he is looking into the distance, smiling, and the screen cuts to a white screen (the end credit) and it says, Love, Your Mind, Find Mental Health Resources and Love Your Mind Today.” HUNTSMAN MENTAL HEALTH INSTITUTE, Ad Council.

To sum it all up, I’m guessing this video was about Marcus battling his mental health, and this video was about him explaining his story, everything about it, and how he overcame it.

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2 Responses to Visual Rewrite—TheGamer

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    How do you know?

    0:00- Start off with an African American man with dreads. I’m guessing he is around the early to mid-20s based on his body size. He seems to be holding a basketball in his left hand, wearing a yellow top and grey jeans with red Jordans. He seems to be looking off into the football field, but he’s on the other side of the fence, holding it with his right arm. The fence is black and taller than him. The field seems to be green, but you can also see where the baseball field is in its dried-up sand. In the far background, you can see the trees that lead into the forest, so I’m guessing he is at his old school remimsing it. Continuing in the background, you can see cars that are blurred in the back and also a building. You can see the pole that projects light onto the field when it’s dark in the background as well.

    —Why do you say he’s reminiscing?

    —If a game were in progress, would you say the same thing?

    —You didn’t mention we see him from behind. Why show him that way in the first frame?

    0:01- The camera is switching to a close-up view of the man, and we see that he is holding a football in his left hand. He also has a silver chain around his neck. He also wears a beard. And in the background, we can see a pole, a brick wall, and pavement next to it.

    —What happens in your brain when he’s holding a football at a baseball field when there’s no game going on?

    0:02-0:04- We can see the full face of the man and that he has ear rings, and his hair is also tied back. He is still staring into the distance at the field, and the camera is capturing his full side profile now. We can see the roof of the building in the background.

    —Who stares at an empty field?

    —He doesn’t have to be clutching the fence the way he is. Why shoot him that way?

    0:04-0:07- We are giving him two images, and both of them show him who I’m guessing is Marcus. In the picture to the left, we can see that he is wearing Hardaway Jersey number 4, and it shows a younger Marcus im guessing when he used to play for the school. We can see that he has no hair in the picture and barely any facial hair. In the background, we can see a brick wall and his shadow on it. On the picture on the right, we can see him wearing the same jersey this time with the helmet and pants, which are both white with a red stripe on them. We can see him jumping over the defender holding the football, so I’m guessing he is a running back. The defender is wearing all white with black and blue gloves with the Under Armour logo on them. It looks like Marcus is jumping over him, and he is falling, trying to drag him down.

    —If you saw this ad on TV, where it’s meant to be shown, you wouldn’t know his name.

    —What’s the significance of Hardaway?

    —Pictures, not video clips? Still images? Does that suggest somebody took those pictures of the boy for him? Are they “framed” like photos? Are they from the same season? Any way to know if they represent a glory day or a whole career?

    —Now that I’ve looked, I understand better that he’s not wearing an Anfernee or Penny Hardaway jersey. That would have been helpful information.

    0:08-0:10-It shows him being interviewed based on where the camera is pointed and where he is looking, and it also tells us his full name and that he is a professional athlete displayed on the screen. We see that he is talking to someone and using his hands to explain something that he is saying. In the background, we can see that he is in the gym or weight room of the school because we see brick walls and weight equipment around him.

    —Umm. He’s identified on screen as Marcus Smith. So . . . who’s wearing the Hardaway jersey? Is Hardaway his school?

    0:10-0:11-We get the same angle of the camera pointing upwards at his hand, but now we can see his full upper body, including his face and torso, and on his left hand, we see he has a ring on his ring finger, so maybe he is married, or maybe his graduation ring from high school, or maybe just for fashion.

    —What’s with the pendant?

    0:11-0:12- We see him throwing the football in the distance, and the camera is recording this from his back. We can see from the distance that the field is long, and in the background there’s a little building that is red, and we can see the field goal post. There is also a tree there as well.

    —He’s throwing the ball to no one?

    —Doesn’t throw like a quarterback, that’s for sure.

    0:14-0:16- We can see he is now back in the interviewing room, and now the camera is close up to his face, only showing his face and shoulders, and we can see him point to the side of his head. In the back, we still see the weight for lifting.

    —It’s not enough to say he points to his head.

    —The filmmakers chose that moment to present. Is he saying, “The game is 90% mental”? What’s the Rhetorical Value of the gesture?

    I’ll stop there. You didn’t ask for Feedback.

    Plenty of chances there for revision, Gamer.
    Graded.

    Like

  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Nice improvements, Gamer. I’m disappointed you didn’t continue to the end video. I over-fulfilled my obligation to provide unrequested Feedback, but you could have made revisions all the way t o the end.

    Regraded.

    Like

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