Definition Rewrite- Username

Posted on March 4, 2024 by username1132005

The Price Dogs Pay for their Owner

The rise of homeless people around the world has skyrocketed over the years, but right now in America, the rates are at an all time high. Out of half a million of the homeless population, only some are blessed with having a companion alongside them, in the form of a dog. The presence of a dog can offer the homeless unconditional love, strength, companionship, and benefits. The benefits can be in forms of a conversation, a meal, a smile, or even a donation. Dogs can be lifesavers for their owner, and can be the reason why they get through life. Even though dogs can be lifesavers for their humans, it could end up being the opposite for the dog. The lifespan of the dog is at risk due to the conditions they face, but that is the price that they pay. 

One benefit that dogs can provide is drawing in attention from the pedestrians around them. Seeing a dog alongside a homeless person could lead people to open up their hearts, and their wallets to someone in need. A pedestrian is more likely to open their wallets and give a donation if they see a struggling dog, due to the fact that they can help the dog and its owner. All while the benefits from being outside with the dog could help the homeless, it may end up backfiring if the person tries to go to a homeless shelter. The shelters may not end up taking both of them in, and would have to make the homeless choose between their dog, or a bed. 

At the end of the day, the homeless are people just like us who need love and attention in their lives, as do their pets. Dogs need love and care as well as humans to keep going and keep providing the benefits they provide. The empathy that dogs bring to people is an important aspect as to why the amount of benefits are at an increased rate compared to without. 

Humans are often visual learners, and need to see things to believe it. In order for people to want to benefit the homeless, they would need to see the love and passion that the homeless have for their pet. The more love they see, the more likely they are going to want to help. According to the article titled, Are Dogs Children, Companions, or Just Animals?Understanding Variations in People’s Orientations toward Animals, written by Blouin states that, “the protectionistic have high regard for both pets and animals…they view pest as valuable companions and as creatures with their own interests.”If the homeless showcase a protectionist type of love for their dog, people will notice that and will hopefully want to give back and one help the homeless, which in return would be helping the dog. 

Dogs give up a lot to be out on the streets, which people may not realize. The dogs are in a very vulnerable position out there, and are very over-stimulated especially if they are in a city. Dogs give up a warm safe home, a yard, and even constant food and water if the homeless cannot afford it. According to the article, Companion Animal Overpopulation, written by Peta states how, “animals who depend on humans to meet their needs for food, water, veterinary care, shelter, and safety cannot survive for long on their own.” If a dog is staying with their owner outside with terrible conditions, that shows the love that they have for their owner. The dog may not choose to stay with the homeless, but if it does it is really showing their owner and the public the dedication and love that it has for its owner. If the same people are walking past the homeless and their dog everyday, they are going to see the love on both sides that the homeless, and the dog show each other. That in return should be striking to a pedestrian and hopefully make them more likely to toss some coins or bills in the homeless cup. 

Social interaction is something that varies from person to person. Some people are content with just a hello, while others would prefer to go have longer and deeper conversations with people they may not even know. Social interaction is something that many homeless out on the streets have a lack of. Certain people may find themselves hesitant to go near a homeless person, based on their stereotypes or their looks. This is dehumanizing them and making them feel unworthy. Something that a dog can help them with is acting as a conversation starter. The dog can make their humanity clear, and can show the pedestrians that they do have a heart and something to live for. Many people love dogs and if they saw one would be attracted to them. Which in this case is in the homeless favor because it is making them more approachable, and kind-hearted.

As with people, dogs do not live forever. It is important for the dog’s health to be in good standing if they are out on the streets because of the fact that they are dealing with terrains that the average dog would not. The homeless, if they have a dog, put the dog’s health and necessities before their own. Even if the homeless are low on money they received from donations, and are hungry, more times than not they are going to take care of their pet first. According to the article titled, Pets & Homelessness in LA, written by Sabo states how, “…the average life of a street dog is around 3.5 to 4 years, compared to indoor dogs under 20 pounds who have an average lifespan of 11.” This evidence makes sense that the average street dog is not likely to live longer. The shorter life expectancy would be a heartbreaking thought to the homeless, which would give them motivation to ensure that they are going to receive as many donations as possible in order to care for their pet. 

References

Are Dogs Children, companions, or just animals? understanding … (n.d.). https://www.researchgate.net/publication/272271895_Are_Dogs_Children_Companions_or_Just_Animals_Understanding_Variations_in_People’s_Orientations_toward_Animals 

Companion animal overpopulation and homelessness. PETA. (2020, August 20). https://www.peta.org/issues/animal-companion-issues/overpopulation/ 

Sabo, P. (2020, June 12). Pets & homelessness in la . The Vanderpump Dog Foundation. https://www.vanderpumpdogs.org/our-blog/pets-amp-homelessness-in-lanbsp

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5 Responses to Definition Rewrite- Username

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:
    March 5, 2024 at 10:45 am

    Thank you for requesting Feedback, Username.
    Before I start, how much time are you willing to invest in revisions this go-round?
    —DSH

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  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:
    March 7, 2024 at 8:40 am

    I’m hesitant to start without your commitment to the process, Username. Do you plan to spend as much time on your revisions as I do on your feedback? I’ll put in as many minutes or hours as you do.

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  3. Unknown's avatar Anonymous says:
    March 7, 2024 at 9:58 pm

    I am good with an hour.

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  4. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:
    March 8, 2024 at 11:02 am

    Starting at 9:45 FRI

    Dogs helping Humans

    —It’s a VERY broad topic that you’re using as a headline, Username. The title is a good place to start your argument. For example, if you wanted to emphasize how much dogs had to give up to pursue their lives as pets instead of as wild animals, you could go with

    The Cost to Dogs of Serving Humans

    —Anything that gives readers a better idea of your narrower focus.

    The rise of homeless people around the world has skyrocketed over the years, but right now in America, the rates are at an all time high. In 2024 there are said to be around half a million homeless, who are either in shelters or living out on the streets. Some of these homeless people are all alone, while others are blessed with having a companion, in the form of a dog. Dogs offer constant love and are good for keeping their owners mentally stable. The homeless out in the world most likely lack getting love and companionship, which having a dog could fill that void. The benefits from having a dog alongside a homeless person has endless positives, and is something that many out there fighting for their lives could benefit from.

    —Good background. Short on data. I’m not sure you need numbers at all, but if you use them, be wary of sudden shifts from specific to vague like “of the 500,000 homeless . . . some have dogs.”
    —It makes your “some” unpersuasive.
    —Rhetorically, this could be so much stronger, if you’ve ready to toss some sentences. You can start with lots of homeless/more all the time/here’s number/where they live/most are alone . . . .
    —Or you can get to the important group—the homeless who have dogs and wrap up your Introduction in a sentence or two.

    Of the half million or so homeless Americans in shelters or on the street, the luckiest might be those who benefit from the companionship of a dog. The presence of a pet might even save their lives.

    —You’ll recognize that technique from yesterday’s class as: “Start as close as possible to the end of the story.”
    —One more thing before I go. If you DID want to focus on what dogs have sacrificed for the benefits of domestication, you could still start your Introduction the same way and add just a small claim or two.

    Of the half million or so homeless Americans in shelters or on the street, the luckiest might be those who benefit from the companionship of a dog. The presence of a pet might even save their lives. Ironically, it could shorten the life of the dog.

    —I’ll stop now (on that, at least).

    Benefits can come in all different shapes for people who need different things. For example, dogs can bring in attention and offerings due to the fact that they draw attention to the strangers walking past the homeless on the streets. Seeing a dog alongside a homeless person could strike people’s hearts, and open up their wallets to someone in need. Financial benefits would be a huge bonus for the homeless considering most are unable to have jobs and provide for themselves. If a stranger helped a homeless person by providing an offering, that could open many doors for the homeless and could give them hope for their lives. Benefits can be defined as either an action, payment, or helpful goods that can help someone in times of need. A benefit can be different for everybody, and everyone could benefit from different things during different times of their lives.

    —I see that you’re working the categorical angle, which is admirable and correct, Username.
    —But you probably also know that you’re throwing a WHOLE LOT of language at your simple claims here.
    —Research is good for adding texture and evidence to your most general of claims, so don’t stop reading about your subject when you think you’ve “got 1000 words on this.”
    —Your second paragraph, revised to remove the fluff, looks like this:

    One benefit to panhandlers of a companion dog is the positive attention it elicits from pedestrians. Prospective donors are more likely to drop coins in a cup if they think it might benefit a helpless animal.

    —The fact that there are lots of kinds of benefits, and that different benefits might be different to different people at different times without you ever having to say it. If you list a few benefits, we know there are many. Etc.
    —As for the second part of the paragraph, if you’re balancing the benefits to the homeless against the costs to the dog:

    Ironically, a homeless pet owner is more likely to be refused a bed at a shelter than someone without an animal, so the fact that the dog is attached to the human might doom it to a life outdoors.

    —Not by accident, I changed your “homeless” to “panhandler” in the paragraph above, Username. When you conflated the two, you gave readers the impression that anyone without shelter will panhandle, in essence saying, “anyone with no place to live will be on the street begging.”

    At the end of the day, the homeless are people just like us who need love and attention in their lives. The homeless can go days without eating and drinking, which are inhumane conditions that they are sadly often facing. While the homeless are fighting for their lives, their dogs are as well. Dogs need care and love as well to keep going and keep providing the benefits they do to their owner. The reason why homeless people who are blessed enough to have dogs with them are more likely to receive a donation is because of the empathy that dogs bring to people. People are more likely to want to benefit the dog and their owner by taking a minute out of their day to help someone in need.

    —Lots of language there, Username.
    —See anything that you can cut?
    —Asked another way: See anything you can’t afford to cut?

    Humans are often visual learners, and need to see things to believe it. In order for people to want to benefit the homeless, they may need to see the real life struggles they are facing. It is important for people to especially see the love that the homeless own, so that they are going to want to help both parties out. The more love they see, the more likely they are going to want to help. According to the article titled, Are Dogs Children, Companions, or Just Animals? Understanding Variations in People’s Orientations toward Animals, written by Blouin states that, “the protectionistic have high regard for both pets and animals…they view pest as valuable companions and as creatures with their own interests”(Blouin 2019). If the homeless showcase a protectionist type of love for their dog, people will notice that and will hopefully want to give back and one help the homeless, but then also help out the dog. Blouin states how the dogs are used as a companion and something that has their best interest at heart, which would be getting the benefit of acquiring a donation.

    —Remove the (Blouin 2019) and ALL OTHER parenthetical citation tags. We don’t use them in this class. Thanks.
    —You’re describing an ALLIANCE here, Username. Latch on to any word, term, or punchy phrase that quickly communicates your idea.
    —Of course, an allegiance would indicate that both enter the relationship freely.
    —Do you think that, if she were asked, the dog would CHOOSE to stay with the homeless human?
    —To what extent DO they make that choice?
    —Anybody studying that?

    Social interaction is something that varies from person to person. Some people are content with just a hello, while others would prefer to go have longer and deeper conversations with people they may not even know. Social interaction is something that many homeless out on the streets have a lack of. Certain people may find themselves hesitant to go near a homeless person, based on their stereotypes or their looks. Due to the more intimidating or scary nature of a homeless person in general, if they were to have a dog alongside them, that can make them look more approachable and personable. A dog can act as a conversation starter, which would benefit the homeless by hopefully getting a donation or even having a conversation. Just like how certain people are more generous with how much time they want to give up interacting with people, that is similar to how generous someone is with donations.

    —When you start anything, Username—a book, an essay, a paragraph—with “there’s lots of these and people like different ones . . . ,” you’re losing readers.
    —You don’t need statistics or research, but you claims should be vivid.

    To those of us who pass by dozens of panhandlers on our walk to work, the homeless are invisible, or we do whatever we have to do to pretend we don’t see or hear them someone who is frightening or just distasteful. In other words, we dehumanize them. But if we could see their humanity, as we do when they have a pet alongside . . . .

    —Am I starting to make sense?

    Human interaction is a key component of life, and is necessary for one’s mental health and sanity. According to the article, Does Having a Dog Make You More Attractive, written by Golbeck and Colino, states that having a dog gives the impression that, “…you are kind, caring, trustworthy, compassionate, and patient..” (Golbeck, Colino 2023). Allowing people to let their guard down and be willing to approach a homeless person and let alone have a conversation with them can depend on the person being pretty far left. But the feeling after you could potentially make someone’s day would override all of those negative feelings. Having a conversation with a homeless person could benefit both parties involved. That is due to making the homeless feel appreciated and thinking that someone actually cares about them.

    —You found a nice little quote there about the “virtue-signaling” a dog companion provides.
    —While it’s true what you say about the benefit of the now imaginable social interaction TO THE DONOR, it does make us wonder how the emphasis shifted away from benefits to the recipient.

    Oftentimes the homeless who are on the streets cold and hungry think that their lives are never going to change or get better. It is a vicious cycle for them, with the end of the journey often not seen. The benefit for the people who take time out of their day and approach the homeless, would most likely feel as if they made a difference, and helped someone in need. The dog being there could give the person the strength and courage to approach the homeless, and provide benefits for all like good karma and hopefully a couple dollars for the homeless to survive off of.

    —Not much here except the observation that the homeless feel desperate.

    I have to say that overall, you could have written almost all of this without research, Username. It states a very general case that panhandlers benefit from a dog companion, but we aren’t introduced to many of them. You’ll need more pointed anecdotal evidence, or a lifespan study, something from doctors to indicate that the homeless individuals they treat are healthier when they have dogs, specific details. Otherwise, you’ll be padding every paragraph with paraphrases of the same few claims.

    Do you want help with Research as the next step in this process?

    Completed at 11AM, but with a break, so . . . you owe me one hour of Revisions. You can also pay off part of that debt with a Zoom conference if you think that would be more productive than all this typing back and forth.

    Provisionally graded at Canvas.
    MAKE ALL REVISIONS HERE ON THIS POST.
    Ask for a Regrade, or Feedback Please, or both following significant improvements.

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  5. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:
    April 11, 2024 at 11:50 am

    I’m very impressed with the radical improvements you’ve made since your first version of this argument, Username. It may well have cost you more than an hour, but whatever time you spent was worth it TO YOUR PAPER. (Whether you consider making your paper better a fair return on your investment is for you to decide. :) )

    Regraded.

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