Purposeful Summaries- Username

Are Multivitamins Dangerous? It seems counterintuitive that the supplements that are advertised to make us healthier, can be the reason causing severe health issues in humans affecting organs such as our hearts, and can even cause birth defects. The supplement business is one of the leading businesses in the world. Supplements are bought by more than a third of Americans yearly, causing establishments like the Vitamin shop to come in with over 700 million dollars of revenue each year. Supplement companies know exactly how to get people to buy their products, which is why they make their supplements look and taste like candy. By making their supplements taste sweet like candy, the consumer is bound to keep buying them. Supplements are giving false hope to over 39,000 women saying that they can help with fighting off illnesses such as heart disease and lung cancer, which has proved to be untrue. Instead of buying hundreds of supplements yearly, people instead can get their vitamins and minerals through healthy eating and water. There needs to be a change in the system in regards to supplements, so that us Americans are healthier overall and safe if people choose to continue to take these supplements. 

Do Toms Shoes Help Anybody? It seems counterintuitive that the buy one system seems as if it will help people, but in reality may be a waste. Toms shoe brand was founded in 2006 with the intent of helping people around the world by creating a system that with every pair of shoes bought, one is given away to someone in need. At first sales were skyrocketing and everyone thought it was a great idea, but as time went on people pointed out the risk factor that comes along with this. The people who buy a pair of shoes have no idea where the other pair they bought is going to. For example, many times these shoes are shipped to Ethiopia, because it is an area of poverty with many children needing shoes. Even though children there can be gifted with a Toms shoe by the school district, at home there is a possibility that they already own shoes. It could be that the parents just want their children to get a free pair of shoes, which in return is wasting peoples money who bought the shoes, and is not helping the cause. 

End-of-Life Care. It seems counterintuitive that we know what the right thing to do is in situations but still have our doubts based on lack of trust in society. In hospitals, people’s loved ones are fighting for their lives, their main goal would be giving them the best care possible, and to do the right thing for what they have wished for. The lack of trust in doctors and nurses has put a wrench in people’s decisions in regards to what they should do with their loved ones once they are in that state. Doctors are humans too, and everyone makes mistakes and can make wrong calls, but in the case of people’s loved ones on their deathbeds, there is not a lot of room for mistakes. The doctors may encourage one thing, while the loved ones of the person in pain may think otherwise. With your loved ones’ final moments, there shouldn’t be the stress of worrying about costs, right decisions and plans for after death, let alone worrying if the doctors are providing accurate information. Doctors can give a misinterpretation of what they think the status is with that particular person, but if they were wrong and the person beats the odds, they would be heavily criticized. Overall, there needs to be more trust in society, and people need to be confident in their own decisions and know that everything happens for a reason, and to never live with regret because life is too short.

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1 Response to Purposeful Summaries- Username

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    You seem to grasp the counterintuitivity of these articles quite well, Username, and convey their peculiarity reasonably successfully. The best way to improve your grade, if you’re interested, would be to craft better sentences. Many of yours meander and tie themselves up in knots. I’ll select two or three from each paragraph to revise as examples.

    Supplement companies know exactly how to get people to buy their products, which is why they make their supplements look and taste like candy.

    —Supplement companies don’t make their supplements resemble candy BECAUSE they know how to merchandise products.
    —They make supplements look like candy TO SELL MORE supplements.
    —A possible revised sentence: Supplement companies sell more product by making their supplements look and taste like candy.

    By making their supplements taste sweet like candy, the consumer is bound to keep buying them.

    —This sentence [doesn’t MEAN but actually] SAYS that CONSUMERS make supplements taste like candy.
    —What you MEAN is: Supplement companies sell more product by making their supplements look and taste like candy. [That’s right. It’s the same sentence as the one before.]

    There needs to be a change in the system in regards to supplements, so that us Americans are healthier overall and safe if people choose to continue to take these supplements.

    —Your sentence ends in confusion. It says, “Americans are healthier overall and safe if people choose to continue to take these supplements.”
    —Possible revised sentence: People should be encouraged to eat healthier instead of relying on supplements.

    Toms shoe brand was founded in 2006 with the intent of helping people around the world by creating a system that with every pair of shoes bought, one is given away to someone in need.

    —Your syntax is messy. It says “a system that . . . one is given away.”
    —Possible revised sentence: Toms shoe brand was founded in 2006 on the pledge to help people around the world by giving a pair of shoes to someone in need for every pair of shoes sold.

    At first sales were skyrocketing and everyone thought it was a great idea, but as time went on people pointed out the risk factor that comes along with this. The people who buy a pair of shoes have no idea where the other pair they bought is going to.

    —In two sentences, you haven’t identified the risk.
    —Possible revised sentence:

    —This well-meaning program can’t avoid the risk that the “giveaway shoes” are wasted on recipients who don’t need them.

    The lack of trust in doctors and nurses has put a wrench in people’s decisions in regards to what they should do with their loved ones once they are in that state.

    —Try this?: Lack of trust in doctors and nurses complicates end-of-life decisions for family members.

    Doctors can give a misinterpretation of what they think the status is with that particular person, but if they were wrong and the person beats the odds, they would be heavily criticized.
    —You confuse readers about which diagnosis goes which way.
    —Possible replacement sentence: Doctors are reluctant to offer their sincere diagnosis to any family member who already doesn’t trust them.

    I’m not sure how accurate my revisions are (because I can’t always tell what you mean), but I hope my versions are helpful examples of sentences that make clear claims.

    Provisionally graded at Canvas. Regrades are always available following significant improvements.

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