Causal Rewrite – Moneytrees4

Discrepancy of Our Health

Lately, a lot of discrepancy has been surrounding multi-vitamins. This is baffling seeing how these supplements have been around for so long. Multi-vitamins have been used for such a long time that people completely trust that they will have results. It seems so simple; something is seen on TV that is said to increase overall health, go to the store and purchase it. What could have possibly uncovered the dark side of something so widely accepted for so long?

The answer is research and the data the research has produced. Many researches have been uncovering results from tests that prove multivitamins are ineffective for an already healthy person. This is shocking because they do not seem to help people who could use a more fortified diet either. One may ask how this information has taken so long to get out. Perhaps these supplements started out being helpful but were diluted or changed in order to increase a company profit. This new information has caused the credibility of multivitamin supplements to decrease dramatically.

When something loses credibility, a lot of negative things follow. People will stop investing in the product, stop consuming the product etc. With the case of multivitamins, the research that found these supplements to be useful caused people to view them in an entirely new light. Rightfully so! The companies that produce these products make billions and they do not care less about the ineffectiveness of their product or even the negative effects of them.

Work Cited

Shute, Nancy. “The Case Against Multivitamins Grows Stronger.” NPR. NPR, n.d. Web. 06 Apr. 2015.

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3 Responses to Causal Rewrite – Moneytrees4

  1. moneytrees4's avatar moneytrees4 says:

    Hopefully this is the type of work you were loking for prof. The understanding i got from the assignment instructions was that we were to state something that was effected and what caused it to be effected. In short, I claim that the research done on multivitamins has caused the credibilty of these supplemets to drop. feedback requested!

    Feedback provided. —DSH

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  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Thank you for your question, Moneytrees. You clearly understand the point of the assignment, to explain or analyze a cause/effect relationship inherent in your argument.

    I’ve highlighted your text into several categories.
    BLUE is for your actual claims.
    GRAY is filler copy that serves little purpose.
    PURPLE is pure rhetoric, not actual argument; not quite ranting, but close.
    RED is for grammar, punctuation, usage, or spelling errors.

    I should have needed more colors:
    —one for actual evidence;
    —one for your citations;
    —one for illustrations or examples
    —one for pure reasoning
    . . . maybe others.

    There should be mostly BLUE and the other colors I didn’t need, no RED at all, and very little GRAY.

    Do you need help with any of this?

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  3. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    As I have indicated more than once, the adjective for Cause is Causal, not Casual.

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