It can be said that any amount of multivitamins is an excess because they are not conducive to a person’s health. This can apply to my topic of the true usefulness of multivitamins because it is becoming more believed that the supplements are useless. If this is true, then perhaps we can also say that not only are they useless but can be detrimental to one’s health. Researchers are saying that any amount of multivitamins is an excess because we get all the vitamins and minerals from the foods we eat. When trying to figure out how much of these multivitamins we should take if any, we encounter words such as useful, health, and deficiency.
Now let’s say, contrary to growing belief, multivitamins do have some use. It can be disputed how much a person needs. Of course it will differ with age, gender, and other health characteristics. What is deemed to be an excess to one person may be just right or not enough for another. In the case of multivitamins however, the only way we can compare what is too much for certain people is through multiple tests on their health. With that said, it is not a conscious decision on what may be too much for our bodies or what may not be enough. It would in-fact be easier to define a deficiency. With a deficiency in something, it is likely will see negative effects before an excess.
Nevertheless, one can evaluate how they feel after taking a certain supplement or eating a certain food. For example, taking a supplement for 30 days and recording how it makes you feel, followed by cutting the multivitamin cold turkey and recording how you feel. It is more likely for an adult to try this method than a child. The reason for this can be either because children are less likely to be health conscious; an adult is more likely to have some kind of disorder that prohibits them from eating too much unhealthy products. Regardless of the reason the point is that what is too much for one person can be regular or perfectly normal for another and vice versa.
With that said, an excess can be something tangible or otherwise, that is more than enough for a person. Whether or not this person realizes something is an excess such as in this case with supplements is irrelevant.
In order for us to evaluate the meaning of one word, there may be others that have to be clarified. When we look at what an excess is, we also should look at words such as proper, useful and health. These tie into an excess because in a way, a person’s point of view on the word can be related to how useful they believe something to be. We can also define usefulness as being of service or helpful. In the case of multivitamins however, the argument is that they are useless so any amount is an excess. The definition of proper easily varies from culture to culture, household to household, city to city etc. The important thing when arguing a definition is to remember the different point of views.
Works Cited
Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com, n.d. Web. 28 Feb. 2015. <http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/excess?s=t>.
Goodman, Brenda From. “Experts: Don’t Waste Your Money on Multivitamins – WebMD.” WebMD. WebMD, 13 Dec. 2013. Web. 26 Feb. 2015. <http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/news/20131216/experts-dont-waste-your-money-on-multivitamins>.
Gavura, Scott. “More Evidence That Routine Multivitamin Use Should Be Avoided « Science-Based Medicine.” More Evidence That Routine Multivitamin Use Should Be Avoided « Science-Based Medicine. N.p., 19 Dec. 2013. Web. 28 Feb. 2015. <http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/more-evidence-that-routine-multivitamin-use-should-be-avoided/>.
The Gamer 2.0
SleepyCat
Coffee Lover 03
doglover7025
Snowman10
excellentstudent27
Gymrat
hockeyfan
holistic25
ilovebeesss
ilovemydog
The Gamer
Naturechild101
BreakingBad45
ravensfan8
temporal111
thatpersonoverthere
toetio
username1132005
Calm&Patient
webbwrestler135
Counterintuitive Spring 2024 
Thank you, Moneytrees, for posting early. I appreciate the opportunity to make general comments on the topic for your classmates’ benefit as well as yours. I hope others will review these comments if they’re reading your essay as an early example.
The biggest improvement I can suggest for this early draft is that you stick closer to the subject matter of your research. In effect, you’re trying to “vamp” for 500 words here on the nature of the word “excess.” I can understand why you took that approach; it seems inherent in the assignment to write a Definition essay. However, I did my best to dissuade you from citing or trying to create a dictionary definition.
You’ll notice also that none of the three model essays I suggested you read as models of Definition Essays actually confronts the definition obligation head-on. And they certainly don’t announce that they will define a term.
Gay Marriage Model
The New York Times editorial about gay marriage comes closest to straightforward definition. It asks the question whether “gays and lesbians are a protected class under the Constitution.” It names the terms under which they would be rightly considered such a class, and then declares point by point that they meet the criteria.
But the terms are very specific, and always pertinent to the subject matter.
1) The editorial names judicial precedents, it quotes Supreme Court Justices and a solicitor general who argue in favor of the classification.
2) It declares that laws that ignore the special status of sexual orientation are unconstitutional.
3) It declares that the group has experienced discrimination, is essential to its members’ identities, and is politically powerless.
4) It identifies sexual orientation as fundamental characteristic.
5) It cites evidence of hate crimes aimed at the group.
6) It quotes relevant arguments made in court.
Wireless Neighbor
The article about stealing wireless service never indicates that it’s trying to define a term at all. It relates a social situation in which an individual has demonstrated behavior for years without stopping to classify it as anything other than simple common sense. The abrupt change in her relationship to the internet service providers is born of necessity. Suddenly, she has a reason to examine her behavior. It didn’t “feel like” stealing, more like receiving the universe’s generosity. Her grappling with the repercussions of her own behavior makes the essay both readable and a clever examination of a social concept.
Fiduciary Responsibility
Different readers could come away from a reading of the Pension Fund article without ever noticing that it’s a Definition Essay. It doesn’t suggest that it’s going to define fiduciary responsibility; in fact, it doesn’t mention the term. But the entire purpose of the essay is to demonstrate that spending the money that was collected for a particular purpose, then borrowing money at interest to gamble on the stock market was the opposite of being the responsible steward of the employees’ money that the state was obligated to be.
Sticking Close to the Facts
What all three examples do is make compelling and very specific arguments based on the facts of the case. You’ve named Scott Gavura and Brenda Goodman in your Works Cited as authors whose work you consulted to learn about the value (or valuelessness) of multivitamins, yet I see no evidence of what you’ve learned from their reports beyond the claim that “the argument is that they are useless.”
I recommend you take another look at the models and see if there are lessons there to help you apply more of the subject matter of your research to the nature of the supplements’ uselessness.
LikeLike
Have I done a better job of not directly defining the the word? I know i still use the word excess a lot.
Feedback provided. —DSH
LikeLike
What you have done well, moneytrees, is to eliminate most mentions of the word “define” and “definition.”
P1 makes a good strong claim in its first sentence and then loses all its momentum. Basically you’re saying that any amount of a useless product is too much. If a company made a health claim for drinking motor oil, but the oil did no good (and could even harm drinkers), even a tablespoon of motor oil per day would be an excess.
Is that the case with multivitamins? Or is it possible that a vitamin-taker might be gaining a small advantage from a certain B vitamin contained in the Multi, but not much benefit from any other ingredient. He wouldn’t be getting an excess of the B vitamin, but he would be getting an excess of everything else.
What is the case with multivitamins? Your claims are so vague and unsupported by any scientific evidence that we can’t be sure what you mean.
And while you try to claim that taking too much of a vitamin can be detrimental, you don’t name a single side effect or danger. So the only way they’re excessive is that we’re spending money on vitamins we might not need.
Where does the claim come from that we “get all the nutrients we need from the food we eat”? That can’t possibly be true for everyone, can it?
P2. Here, you’re on the verge of making an important and valid argument. If there is a vitamin deficiency in our diets, it’s highly unlikely we’re deficient in EVERY vitamin contained in a multi-vitamin. I was sure you were going to make the argument that we should be tested to see what vitamins we lack, and then take ONLY THOSE, thereby avoiding the chance of taking too much of anything. That way, we’d be making an informed choice that properly considered our particular dietary needs (based, as you suggest, on our age, gender, genetic makeup, eating patterns, etc.).
P3. Your suggestion that we should try to diagnose ourselves would only be effective if we were taking a bunch of pills every day, one for each vitamin in the Multi. We could stop the C for a month and observe the results. Then stop the A for a month, etc. It seems highly unlikely anybody would have the patience for this experiment, but, again as you suggest, it would deliver results particular to the one person who had the patience to try it.
P4. I have no idea what P4 is for.
P5. I do know that you contradict it in P5, when you say: a person’s point of view on the word can be related to how useful they believe something to be.
The rest of the paragraph repeats something you’ve already covered above, that “excess” is a relative term that depends on several factors.
For my money, an “excess” is too much of something. Regarding vitamins, too much Vitamin C just means more C than my body needs to stay healthy. If my multivitamin contains more than I need, the worst outcome is that I’ve wasted money on C. However, if there’s a vitamin that can actually harm me when I take too much, that’s a very different kind of “excess,” and one that you should really be working to persuade us about.
From the look of your sources (which, I repeat, you don’t bother to cite at all), they’re pretty adamant that we should stop taking multis. Why? Because they’re a waste of money (that kind of excess)? Or because they’re doing us harm (that kind of excess)?
I hope this helps, moneytrees. I await your reply.
LikeLike
Grade?
Grade code 5D3
Grades are decoded at Professor Conferences.
LikeLike