Mechanical Troubles

that/which

PTSD was once thought of as an illness which only afflicted veterans returning from war.

PTSD was once thought of as an illness, that was true until early in the 21st century.

who/whom

This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, whom has PTSD.

2nd person

When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.

PTSD is something that you usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.

Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article you can.

Needless it

When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.

unclear antecedent

One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because she got angry and lost control.

an extra that

Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.

Title Punctuation

The article, Is PTSD Contagious? by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.

Possessive apostrophes

Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts other’s needs before her own.

Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other’s support.

This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior’s skills.

Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the reader’s.

Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.

After Calebs services were over, he developed PTSD.

Pronoun disagreement

Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make someone with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.

If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all

Commas and Quotes

In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.

Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious“.

“Hyperawareness”, “hypervigilance”, and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.

In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?”, written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.

due to

Mclelland claims that due to Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of  Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.

misplaced modifier

After returning home, some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.

In-Class Exercise

Copy and paste the problematic sentences into the Reply field below and correct them.

 

 

 

Unknown's avatar

About davidbdale

My name honors my mother Beatrice (Bea) and my father Dale. I am the author of 299 Very Short Novels and several plays and the Artistic Director of Must See Theater company.
This entry was posted in David Hodges, davidbdale, Mini Grammar Lessons, Professor Post, Writing Lessons. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Mechanical Troubles

  1. YouDontKnowWhoIAmComp2's avatar YouDontKnowWhoIAmComp2 says:

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.

    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    PTSD is something that usually is heard about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war. [Someone goes through a soldier coming home?]
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others?
    Yes.

    One example is the time Katie got angry and lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help, and need the support of others.

    Like

    • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

      Good work here, YouDontKnowWhoIAm. Bold face indicates needed changes. This does not appear to be complete yet.

      Like

    • YouDontKnowWhoIAmComp2's avatar YouDontKnowWhoIAmComp2 says:

      When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
      Still a needless it.

      PTSD is something that usually is heard about when someone goes experiences a traumatic incident.
      Goes experiences?

      This statement is assuming that Brannan has the skills of a warrior, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
      Good possessive work, but bad punctuation.

      Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.

      Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
      Technically correct. Would you pronounce the second s?

      After Caleb’s service was over, he developed PTSD.

      Pronoun disagreement

      Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make victims of PTSD experience that traumatic event all over again.

      If there was a PTSD victim who could suppress his symptoms or not show any at all, his PTSD would not be transferred at all.

      Commas and Quotes

      In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
      Bad punctuation.

      Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious”.
      Bad punctuation.

      “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning,” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.

      In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?” written by Mac Mclelland, the author claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
      Commas would be preferable. You avoided the problem.

      due to

      Mclelland claims that because of Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
      Very nice.

      misplaced modifier

      After Caleb returned home, his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto Brannan.
      Very nice.

      Like

  2. jugglercomp2's avatar jugglercomp2 says:

    replaced by a later reply

    Like

    • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

      Some good work here, juggler. Boldface in the samples indicates words that need more attention.

      Like

      • jugglercomp2's avatar jugglercomp2 says:

        Thank you for your feedback. I am working on correcting my work.

        I’m working on my white paper and need your advice. I took your advice and searched for my “defining moment” that made me who I am today. Should I move forward with that idea or should I move more to how memories shape us how we are today?

        Thanking you in advance for your time with my question.

        I’m learning a lot and want to thank you for that as well. It’s painful, but I’m learning…lol! Hope your wife is ok,

        Like

        • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

          Thank you for your excellent question, juggler, and for being devoted to the writing process.

          My wife is doing great. She eats very little meat in general, but following her dramatic nosebleed, she began to worry about the blood loss and asked for beef. I took the opening and seared some very nice sirloins last night, some of which I’m holding for future emergencies. It’s sweet of you to ask.

          Regarding memories, I’m not sure they do shape us; the opposite is true, I think. We shape our memories to conform to the people we become. As for how to incorporate that thought—or your own personal version of it—I recommend you make it the central narrative of your essay. Here’s a rough layout of a highly effective essay technique.

          1. I have a vivid memory that I no longer trust.
          2. Spell out the details of the memory.
          3. Indicate the importance of the memory to your sense of self.
          4. Introduce the theories of unreliable memory that make you doubt the truth of the memory you used to believe was fully accurate.
          5. Step by step, as you work your way through the doubt science casts on the accuracy of memory, suggest ways in which your present self might be mis-remembering, and the purposes served by those manipulations.
          6. Wrap up the essay with a re-telling of the original memory, altered in ways that remove the filters your mind has overlayed throughout the years.
          7. Conclude that whichever version of the memory is true, you’re still the person you are today. Only your perception of how you might have become so has changed.

          I hope you like that plan, juggler; it would be thrilling to see it executed. Awaiting your reaction.

          3.

          Like

        • cyphercomp2's avatar cyphercomp2 says:

          How can you define yourself as a product of one thing in your life? how limiting…

          Like

  3. jugglercomp2's avatar jugglercomp2 says:

    Excellent, thank you so much for the jump start. I like the plan and I am very excited to get started. Not sure why I struggled so much with this process. Wait, I know why, so I can learn and indeed I did.

    Glad to hear you wife is doing well.

    Thank you so much and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

    Like

  4. hashmeesh's avatar hashmeesh says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well-being.
    PTSD is something that usually we hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These first two are still bad sentences, but you did solve the 2nd person problems.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes.

    Needless it
    A girl suffering the same episodes as her father may begin to harm her safety and well-being.
    Sort of, but it says the girl harms her safety.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time that Katie got angry, lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Still contains an extra that.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?[,]” written by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Very nice.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others needs before her own.
    Nope.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other’s support.
    Nope.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has warrior skills; however, the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.

    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    No. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make somebody with PTSD feel like they are experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    No. Somebody is singular; they is plural.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Bad punctuation.
    Some parts of the article however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Needs another comma.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma is why Katie has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Better, but exposure can’t be why.

    misplaced modifier
    A few weeks after Caleb returned home Brannan stared showing signs of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Like

  5. moneytrees4's avatar moneytrees4 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well-being.
    PTSD is something that usually we hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes.
    Very nice.

    Needless it
    A girl suffering the same episodes as her father may begin to harm her safety and well-being.
    Better, but it says the girl may harm her safety.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time that Katie got angry, lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Nope.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?[,]” written by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Very nice.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others needs before her own.
    Nope. Needs to be possessive and plural.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other’s support.
    Nope. Needs to be possessive and plural.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has warrior skills; however, the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Nope. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make somebody with PTSD feel like they are experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Nope. Somebody is singular; they is plural.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Bad punctuation.
    Some parts of the article however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    The quote is good but the other punctuation is wrong.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Needs another comma.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma is why Katie has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Nope. Exposure can’t be why.

    misplaced modifier
    A few weeks after Caleb returned home Brannan stared showing signs of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Like

  6. skybluecomp2's avatar skybluecomp2 says:

    that/which

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person

    When we see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.

    PTSD is something that we usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.

    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    Very nice.

    Needless it

    Being around her father’s suffering is beginning to harm Katie’s safety and well being.
    Very nice.

    unclear antecedent

    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because she got angry and lost control.
    It could still be the lady who got angry.

    an extra that

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Title Punctuation

    The article, Is PTSD Contagious? by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    No. The title needs quotation marks.

    Possessive apostrophes

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.

    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    Very nice.

    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior’s skills.
    One right.

    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the reader’s.
    Introduces two new problems.

    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    No. The husband of Brannan has to be possessive.

    After Calebs services were over, he developed PTSD.
    No. Needs to be possessive.

    Pronoun disagreement

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make someone with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Nope. Someone is singular; they is plural.

    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    No. A victim is singular; their is plural.

    Commas and Quotes

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.

    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious“.
    Nope. Periods always go inside the quotes.

    “Hyperawareness”, “hypervigilance”, and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.

    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?”, written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.

    due to

    Mclelland claims that due to Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Sadly, the phrase “due to” has no use in English. Always substitute either “because of” or “is caused by.”

    misplaced modifier

    After returning home, some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.
    Nope. This says his symptoms returned home.

    Like

  7. madewithrealgingercomp2's avatar madewithrealgingercomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person

    When we see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    PTSD is something that we usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    Very nice.

    Needless it
    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    Nope. Still contains a needless it.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because she got angry and lost control.
    It could still be the lady who got angry.

    an extra that

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warriors skills.
    Half right.
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Very nice.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make someone with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Nope. Someone is singular; they is plural.
    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all
    Nope. A victim is singular; they is plural.

    Commas and Quotes

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious”.
    Nope. Periods always go inside the quotes.
    “Hyperawareness”, “hypervigilance”, and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?”, written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that due to Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Nope. Due to serves no purpose in English and should always be replaced by because of or caused by.

    misplaced modifier
    After returning home, some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.
    Nope. This says his symptoms returned home.

    Like

  8. qdobacomp2's avatar qdobacomp2 says:

    replaced by later reply

    Like

  9. jugglercomp2's avatar jugglercomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Very nice.

    2nd person
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well-being.
    PTSD is something that usually we hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes.
    Very nice.

    Needless it
    A girl suffering the same episodes as her father may begin to harm her safety and well-being.
    Sort of, but it says the girl harms her safety.

    unclear antecedent

    One example is the time that Katie got angry, lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Nope. Still contains an extra that.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” written by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Better, but needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others needs before her own.
    Nope. Others needs to be plural and possessive.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other’s support.
    Nope. Others needs to be plural and possessive.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has warrior skills; however, the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    Very nice.
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    No. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make somebody with PTSD feel like they are experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    No. Somebody is singular; they is plural.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Nope. Commas always go inside the quotes.
    Some parts of the article however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    Very nice.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Needs a comma.

    due to

    Mclelland claims that Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma is why Katie has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Better, but exposure can’t be why.

    misplaced modifier

    A few weeks after Caleb returned home Brannan stared showing signs of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Like

  10. cptpoostaincomp2's avatar cptpoostaincomp2 says:

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Half right.

    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    PTSD is something discussed when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    Very nice.

    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, they begin to harm her safety and well being. (?)
    What causes the harm? The suffering. What is the subject of the sentence? The suffering. Write it that way.

    One example is the time Katie got angry and lost control, then yelled at and attacked an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Better. Needs a comma.

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively a warrior’s skills.
    Very nice. Can you fix the other punctuation problem too?
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers’.
    Nope. You created a new problem.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Very nice.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make victims with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Very nice.
    If there were PTSD victims who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Very nice.

    This isn’t quite finished, but the work you did is some of the best in class, Capt.
    —DSH

    Like

  11. kidhanekomacomp2's avatar kidhanekomacomp2 says:

    1. PTSD was once thought of as an illness which only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness THAT only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    Very nice.

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, that was true until early in the 21st century.
    PTSD was once thought of as illness, WHICH was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    2. When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    Correct
    Nope. Contains a needless it.

    PTSD is something that you usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    PTSD is something that PEOPLE usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    Very nice. Still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.

    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article you can.
    Correct.
    Nope. Violates the ban on 2nd person.

    3. This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, whom has PTSD.

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, WHOM are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father WHO has PTSD.
    Half right.

    Some good work here, Kid. You’ve left many undone.
    —DSH

    Like

  12. thegreatestpenn's avatar thegreatestpenn says:

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Very nice.

    2nd person

    When seeing a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    Still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.

    PTSD is something usually heard about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    Still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.

    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.

    Needless it

    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, which is beginning to harm her safety and well being.
    Nope. You’ve created a fragment.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time Katie got angry and lost control, yelling at and attacking an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Title Punctuation

    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Partly correct. Needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.

    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    Very nice.

    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    Very nice. Can you correct the other punctuation problem?

    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.

    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    No. Her name is Vines, not Vine.

    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make people with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Very nice.

    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress symptoms or not show any at all, then PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Very nice. At least for that one person.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Very nice.

    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    Very nice.

    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.

    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?,” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Very nice.

    due to

    Mclelland claims that Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma has caused her to develop PTSD.
    Perfect!

    misplaced modifier

    After returning home, some of Caleb’s symptoms started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.
    Nope. This says that the symptoms returned home.

    Like

  13. sallcomp2's avatar sallcomp2 says:

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    Very nice.

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Half right.

    When we see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    No. Does our seeing it cause the harm?

    PTSD is something that we usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    Verbs are not parallel.

    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    Very nice.

    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, they begin to harm her safety and well being.
    Nope. Violates the ban against the 2nd person.

    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because Katie got angry and lost control.
    Wordy but correct.

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Better. Needs a comma.

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.

    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other support.
    Sort of. Avoids the problem.

    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    Half right.

    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the reader.
    Very nice.

    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    No. Her name is Vines, not Vine.

    After Calebs’ services were over, he developed PTSD.
    No.

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make peoples with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    No. Peoples is not a legal plural.

    If there were PTSD victims whom could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Solved the pronoun problem but created a new one.

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Nice except you removed an essential question mark.

    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    Very nice.

    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.

    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious,” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Nice except you removed an essential question mark.

    Mclelland claims due to Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Needs one that. You removed both.

    After he returned home, some of his symptoms of PTSD rubbed off onto his wife Brannan.
    Very nice, provided we know who he is.

    Like

  14. betterthanyouincomp2's avatar betterthanyouincomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    Very nice.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, that was true until early in the 21st century.
    Nope.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Very nice.

    2nd person
    When we see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    This is still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    PTSD is something that we usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    This is still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.

    Needless it
    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    Having similar episodes as her father, the daughter suffers and is unsafe.
    Very nice.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because she got angry and lost control.
    Katie became angry and lost control, attacking an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that

    Mclelland claims, Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma caused Branna to develop PTSD.
    This would be better with one that.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, Is PTSD Contagious? by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    This is correct.
    Nope. Needs quotation marks.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    Very nice. Can you correct the other punctuation problem?
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Nope. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make someone with PTSD feel like he experiences that traumatic event all over again.
    Very nice.
    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress his symptoms or not show any at all, his PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Very nice.

    Commas and Quotes

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Very nice.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be contagious.
    Hyperawareness, hypervigilance, and adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Avoided the problem.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?”, written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Nope. The comma always goes inside the quotation marks.

    due to
    Mclelland claims Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, caused Brannan to develop her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    misplaced modifier

    After Caleb returned home, some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.
    Very nice.

    Like

  15. qdobacomp2's avatar qdobacomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness (that) only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, (which) was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, (whom) are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, whom has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person
    When (a girl is seen suffering) through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    PTSD is something that (is) usually hear(d) about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    These are still terrible sentences, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? (Yes.)
    Very nice.

    Needless it
    (A girl suffering) through the same episodes as her father does (can) begin to harm her safety and well being.
    Not quite. This says the girl harms her safety.

    Unclear Antecedent
    One example is the time Katie (got angry, lost control, yelled and attacked an elderly lady.)
    Very nice.

    An Extra That
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma(,) she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Title Punctuation

    The article, Is PTSD Contagious? by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Nope. The article title needs quotation marks.

    Possessive Apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts (others) needs before her own.
    Nope. Others needs to be plural and possessive.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other(s’) support.
    Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has (warrior) skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively (warrior) skills.
    Very nice. Can you correct the other punctuation error too?
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the (readers.)
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan (Vine’s) husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Nope. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After (Caleb’s) services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun Disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make (people) with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Very nice.
    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Nope. A victim is singular; their is plural.

    Commas and Quotes

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Nope. The comma always goes inside the quotation marks.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious(.”)
    Very nice.
    “Hyperawareness(,”) “hypervigilance(,”) and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Very nice.

    Due to

    Mclelland claims (that) Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Nope. This is not a sentence.

    Misplaced Modifier
    Some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan (once he returned home.)
    Very nice, provided we know who he is.

    Like

  16. moparcomp2's avatar moparcomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    Very nice.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    Very nice.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    Nope.

    2nd person

    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    This is still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    PTSD is something that is usually heard about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    This is still a terrible sentence, but you solved the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    Very nice.

    Needless it
    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, her safety and well being begin to suffer as well.
    You eliminated the it, but introduced a you and your sentence suggests our seeing the suffering causes her safety to suffer. Huh?

    unclear antecedent

    One example is the time Katie got angry and lost control then yelled at and attacked an elderly lady.
    Very nice.

    an extra that

    Mclelland says because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    Needs one that.

    Title Punctuation

    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    Needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Very nice.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others support.
    Nope. Others needs to be plural and possessive.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warriors’ skills.
    Very nice. Can you correct the other punctuation problem too?
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    Very nice.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement

    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make people with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    Very nice.
    If there were PTSD victims who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, their PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    Very nice.

    Commas and Quotes

    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    Very nice.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    Very nice.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    Very nice.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?,” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    Very nice.

    due to

    Mclelland claims Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma has caused her to develop her own case of PTSD.
    Very nice.

    misplaced modifier
    After Caleb returned home, some of his PTSD symptoms started to rub off onto his wife, Brannan.
    Very nice.

    Like

  17. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    No Replies yet from:
    bglunk
    brett
    entendu
    taddo
    tagf

    Like

  18. caspertheghostcomp2's avatar caspertheghostcomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    —Very nice

    who/whom

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    —Very nice

    2nd person
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well-being.
    PTSD is something that usually we hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    —These are still terrible sentences, but they do solve the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes.
    —Very nice

    Needless it
    A girl suffering the same episodes as her father may begin to harm her safety and well-being.
    —Well, you did eliminate the it, but now the sentence says the girl harms her safety.

    unclear antecedent

    One example is the time that Katie got angry, lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.
    —Very nice

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Nope. Still has an extra that.

    Title Punctuation

    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” written by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    —Needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others needs before her own.
    —Nope. Others needs to be both plural and possessive.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need other’s support.
    —Nope. Others needs to be both plural and possessive.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has warrior skills; however, the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    —Very nice
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    —Very nice
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    —Nope. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    —Very nice

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make somebody with PTSD feel like they are experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    —Nope. Somebody is singular and they is plural.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?”, the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    —Nope. Commas always go inside the quotation marks.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    —Very nice
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    —Very nice
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    —I don’t know what happened here, but it’s not a sentence.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma is why Katie has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Better, but the exposure can’t be why.

    misplaced modifier
    A few weeks after Caleb returned home Brannan stared showing signs of PTSD.
    —Very nice

    Like

  19. skybluecomp2's avatar skybluecomp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    —Very nice

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, whom are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    —Half right.

    2nd person

    When we see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    —This is still a terrible sentence, but it does solve the 2nd person problem.
    PTSD is something that we usually hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    —This is still a terrible sentence, but it does solve the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? According to this article we can.
    —Very nice.

    Needless it
    Being around her father’s suffering is beginning to harm Katie’s safety and well being.
    —Very nice.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because she got angry and lost control.
    —Better, but still suggests the elderly lady might have gotten angry.

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, Is PTSD Contagious? by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    —The article’s title needs quotation marks.

    Possessive apostrophes

    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    —Very nice.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    —Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has a warrior’s skills, however the ones listed are not exclusively warriors skills.
    —Half right.
    Caleb’s view on other’s opinions on himself is only hurting him further.
    —Nope. Others needs to be both plural and possessive.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vine’s husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    —Nope. Her name is Vines, not Vine.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make people with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    —Very nice.
    If there were a PTSD victim who could suppress his or her symptoms or not show any at all, his or her PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    —Very nice.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    —Awesome.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    —Very nice.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hyper vigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    —Very nice.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?,” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    —Very nice.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that due to Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Sadly, the phrase “due to” has no use in English. Always substitute either “because of” or “is caused by.”

    misplaced modifier

    After Caleb returned home, some of his symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife Brannan.
    —Very nice.

    Like

  20. jugglercomp2's avatar jugglercomp2 says:

    This exercise has been very helpful. Thank you and I appreciate your feedback. Feel better.

    that/which

    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which was true until early in the 21st century.
    —Very nice.

    who/whom
    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    2nd person
    When you see a girl suffer through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well- being.
    PTSD is something that usually we hear about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    —These two are still terrible sentences, but you did correct the 2nd person problems.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes.
    —Very nice.

    Needless it
    A girl suffering the same episodes as her father may begin to harm her safety and well-being.
    —This eliminates the it, but suggests that the girl harms her safety.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time that Katie got angry, lost control, and attacked an elderly lady.
    —Very nice.

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma that she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” written by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    —Very nice.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts others’ needs before her own.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    —Very nice.

    This statement is assuming that Brannan has warrior skills; however, the ones listed are not exclusively warrior skills.
    —Very nice.

    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    —Very nice.

    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband Caleb Vines has passed on his PTSD to her.
    —Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make victims with PTSD feel like they’re experiencing that traumatic event all over again.
    —Very nice.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    —Very nice.
    Some parts of the article however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious.”
    —Very nice.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    —Very nice.
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious,” written by Mac Mclelland, claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    —Very nice.

    due to

    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    misplaced modifier
    A few weeks after Caleb returned home, Brannan stared showing signs of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

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    • davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

      I do feel better finally, juggler, thank you. I’m glad this exercise was helpful. Don’t feel the need to submit another draft. These additional comments I have made about the sentences are just “upping the ante” to keep you on the lookout for sentence clarity. I’ll gladly ways to improve them further.

      Like

  21. Albert's avatar albert0105comp2 says:

    that/which
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness, which only afflicted veterans returning from war.
    —Nope.
    PTSD was once thought of as an illness that was true until early in the 21st century.
    —Nope.

    who/whom

    This condition is visible in the family of Brannan and Caleb Vines, who are noticing the same traits in their daughter Katie as those exhibited by her father, who has PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    2nd person
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, it begins to harm her safety and well being.
    —This is still a terrible sentence, but you did correct the 2nd person problem.
    PTSD is something that usually heard about when someone goes through a traumatic experience or a solider coming home from war.
    —This is still a terrible sentence, but you did correct the 2nd person problem.
    Can something without germs be contagious? Can we catch behaviors and mirror others? Yes, according to this article.
    —Nice.

    Needless it
    When a girl suffers through the same episodes as her father does, she begins to harm her safety and well being.
    —Solves the it problem, but creates an illogical sentence.

    unclear antecedent
    One example is the time Katie yelled at and attacked an elderly lady because Katie got angry and lost control.
    —Nice.

    an extra that
    Mclelland claims that because of Branna’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    Title Punctuation
    The article, “Is PTSD Contagious?” by Mac McClelland, explores the dynamics of a troubled family.
    —Needs a comma.

    Possessive apostrophes
    Brannan Vines is an inspiring, selfless woman, who puts the needs of others before her own.
    —Clever. Avoids the problem nicely.
    Brannan Vines and many others are desperately searching for help and need others’ support.
    —Very nice.
    This statement is assuming that Brannan has skills of a warrior, however the ones listed are not exclusively warrior’ skills.
    —Odd.
    Having Caleb’s opinion of others’ opinions about himself can only be used to gain sympathy from the readers.
    —Very nice.
    Mclelland claims that Brannan Vines’ husband, Caleb Vines, has passed on his PTSD to her.
    —Very nice.
    After Caleb’s services were over, he developed PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    Pronoun disagreement
    Sometimes an event can trigger a flashback and make someone with PTSD feel the experience of that traumatic event all over again.
    —Clever.
    If there were PTSD victims who could suppress their symptoms or not show any at all, PTSD would not be transferred at all.
    —Very nice.

    Commas and Quotes
    In the Mother Jones article, “Is PTSD Contagious?,” the author proposes that the symptoms of PTSD are transferable, specifically from an army veteran to his wife.
    —Very nice.
    Some parts of the article, however, offer insight into why PTSD may be “contagious”.
    —Nope. Periods always go inside the quotation marks.
    “Hyperawareness,” “hypervigilance,” and “adrenaline-sharp quick-scanning” are all skills, not necessarily related to being a warrior.
    —Very nice.
    In the article “Is PTSD Contagious?,” written by Mac Mclelland, she claims that PTSD can be spread to surrounding people.
    —Very nice.

    due to
    Mclelland claims that because of Brannan’s exposure to a great deal of Caleb’s trauma, she has developed her own case of PTSD.
    —Very nice.

    misplaced modifier
    Symptoms of PTSD started rubbing off onto his wife, after Brannan returned home.
    —Very nice, except it was Caleb who came home.

    ***The title was supposed to be in italics because is an article tittle; nonetheless, I could not find a way to make the words to the italic format.
    —Actually, no. A book title would need italics, but an article title requires quotation marks.

    It’s time-consuming, but you can make italics in comments by using html codes.
    <> Then type your title <>
    Between the first set of less than and greater than marks, use em to indicate emphasis.
    Between the second set of less than and greater than marks, use /em to indicate end of emphasis. The results look like this:
    Then type your title

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