Visual Rewrite–mopar

Drunk Driving Prevention – Skeletons

The video starts off with a group of friends in a parking lot of what could be a bar. A young couple are about to get in the backseat of a car as they are waiting for their other friends to come out of the bar. The girlfriend has a worried looked on her face continues to shake her head ‘no’ when it looks like the boyfriend is trying to talk her into getting into the car.  The boyfriend has a sympathetic look on his face like he is trying to convince the girlfriend of something. He then kisses her and the girlfriend smiles and gets into the car. As she does one of their friends gets into the car holding a beer. The friend gets into the passenger seat and talks to the girlfriend in the backseat with a smile like they are joking around.

As everyone gets into the car the last friend, the driver of the car, comes staggering out of the building they are parked in front of holding a beer. The driver jokes with the girl in the backseat’s boyfriend as they get into the car. It’s clear that the driver has had one too many beers and shouldn’t be driving. He’s not walking straight and is slurring his words a little. As he gets into the drivers seat he hands his beer to the girl in the passenger seat rather violently. He probably didn’t mean to do it as hard as he did but obviously he is intoxicated and isn’t in full control of his actions. The only one in the car that asks if he is okay to drive is the boyfriend in the backseat. The boyfriend leans forward and says something to the driver. The driver looks like he’s struggling to answer the question but finally gets out the words: “I’m fine, what’s a couple of beers?” As he says this his head tilts to the side and he looks pale in the face. He then attempts to get the key into the ignition to start the car. On the second or third attempt he finally gets it in and they drive off.

There is a cut scene and all of the bodies get switched with skeletons and the narrator say “If you don’t stop your friend from drinking and driving, your as good as dead.” The switch from the actually humans to skeletons in the car shows how dangerous and what could happen if someone drinks and drives. At the end of the video there is a human hand reaching out and shaking a skeleton hand and the words “Drinking and driving can kill a friendship.”

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1 Response to Visual Rewrite–mopar

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    mopar, you help us understand the purpose of the video without much difficulty, but you don’t describe the visual argument. Here’s an excerpt from your first draft that offers no visual information. It draws conclusions from what you’ve watched or heard, but doesn’t indicate how you drew the conclusions.

    A young couple are about to get in the backseat of a car as they are waiting for their other friends to come out of the bar. The girlfriend is hesitant on getting into the car and tells her boyfriend she just wants to go home. The boyfriend talks her into staying by reassuring her things will be fine and that it’ll be fun. The girlfriend decides to get into the car as one of their friends come out holding a beer.

    How is the girlfriend’s hesitancy indicated?
    How do you know what she tells her boyfriend (without the sound)?
    How do you conclude the boyfriend is convincing her when the audio is muted?

    No matter how good your analysis is, if it ignores the visual components of the argument, it’s not a visual analysis.

    I’ve highlighted your second person references in the final paragraph. They’re banned.

    Like

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