Sentences that follow a negative verb with because create confusion for readers.
I don’t love you because you’re beautiful.
No man can safely say this to his girlfriend because she hears the negation first and doesn’t listen to anything else he says. The same goes for all genders. Our readers, like the girlfriend, hear “I don’t love you,” and then believe what follows to be an explanation for our heartlessness.
We meant to say, of course, that we do love our girlfriend, but that she is special in many ways, only one of which is her beauty. But that’s not what we said. To make sure she listens to our entire declaration, not just the first four words, we need to revise our first draft:
Good: I love you, but not because you’re beautiful.
Good: I love you not just for your beauty.
BEST: I love you for your beauty and your generous heart.
Clearly (at least I hope it’s clear to anyone with a girlfriend) the boldest, most specific, most straightforward claim, without negatives, is the best. And of these sentences, the best are those that eliminate the because altogether.
In-Class Exercise
Copy these sentences adapted from student essays into the Reply field below and revise them for boldness, specificity, and directness. Replace negative verbs with positive verbs. (Example: replace didn’t resign with declined to resign)
1. Coats wasn’t fired because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription. He was fired for violating workplace policy.
2. An employer isn’t able to fire a person who has anxiety because they are taking the correct medication to deal with the issue.
3. Employees don’t get fired for going out and having a few beers after work because alcohol is legal, but in Colorado so is marijuana.
4. Coats shouldn’t have been fired because he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis.
5. It’s not fair to discriminate against him because he was able to ease the pain of his multiple spasms by using marijuana.
6. Coats wasn’t harming anyone at his job because he was smoking marijuana but he was doing so on his own time and not at work.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. Omar Gonzalez didn’t penetrate deep into the White House because of the swift actions of Secret Service agents.
8. The Secret Service isn’t being compelled to explain its actions because of the way it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired because of her testimony before Congress yesterday. Her incompetence might cost her her job though.
10. Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade.
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Counterintuitive Spring 2024 
1. Coats was fired, not because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription. He was fired for violating workplace policy.
2. An employer is capable of firing a person who has anxiety because they are taking the correct medication to deal with the issue at work.
3. Employees get fired for going out and having a few beers at work because that is illegal, but in Colorado marijuana is also illegal.
4. Coats should have been fired because he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis at work.
5. It’s not fair to discriminate against him because he was able to ease the pain of his multiple spasms by using marijuana.
6. Coats was harming everyone at his job because he was smoking marijuana at work.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. Omar Gonzalez did penetrate deep into the White House because of the swift actions of Secret Service agents.
8. The Secret Service isn’t being compelled to explain its actions because of the way it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired because of her testimony before Congress yesterday. Her incompetence might cost her her job though.
10. Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade.
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1. Coats was fired, not because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription. He was fired for violating workplace policy.
—Yeah.
2. An employer is capable of firing a person who has anxiety because they are taking the correct medication to deal with the issue at work.
—Capable? Or permitted by law? Allowed?
—But, really, no, the employer is NOT permitted in this case. Your sentence is legal but incorrrect.
3. Employees get fired for going out and having a few beers at work because that is illegal, but in Colorado marijuana is also illegal.
—Ummm . . . employees are fired for drinking AFTER work?
4. Coats should have been fired because he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis at work.
—I see what’s going on here . . . finally. You’re trying to resolve the Not/Because problem by CHANGING THE MEANING of the sentences. That’s not the assignment. Here’s a GOOD solution to #4:
—Coats should not have been fired for treating his enduring pain with a prescription drug.
5. It’s not fair to discriminate against him because he was able to ease the pain of his multiple spasms by using marijuana.
—Here’s another case in which the good solution is to get rid of “because.” Try “for easing his pain.”
6. Coats was harming everyone at his job because he was smoking marijuana at work.
—Fix this one. He was harming no one. He was not smoking at work.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. Omar Gonzalez did penetrate deep into the White House because of the swift actions of Secret Service agents.
—Nope.
8. The Secret Service isn’t being compelled to explain its actions because of the way it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
—Needs fixing.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired because of her testimony before Congress yesterday. Her incompetence might cost her her job though.
—Change to mean that Pierson MIGHT be fired for incompetence, but not for testifying.
10. Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade.
—Change to mean that the SS refrained from force for some reason. Or NOT for some reason.
I’d love to see Revisions if you’re willing to invest the time, TPOT.
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1. Coats was fired for violating workplace policy, not because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription.
2. An employer can fire a person for any reason except taking the correct medication to deal with their anxiety issue.
3. Drugs, including Marijuana, can be used off premises of the workplace.
4. Coats took pain medication from which his doctor was prescribing on a daily basis to negate his unbearable pain, yet he was fired.
5. There needs to be a revamped approach to the stigma surrounding marijuana since people use it to ease bodily pain.
6. Coats was able to use marijuana outside of the workplace and still remained an effective worker.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. The Secret Service does its job well since Omar Gonzalez was stopped short of the confines of the White House.
8. The Secret Service has been mute about the way it responded to the breach of the White House because they operated like normal, but rather how the breach occurred is under question.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson’ job is at stake because of her incompetence highlighted by her testimony before congress yesterday.
10. The intruder carrying a 4-inch blade made the Secret Service agents hesitant to use force due to the weapon the intruder could’ve acted with.
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1. Coats was fired for violating workplace policy, not because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, for a legitimate purpose for which he had a prescription.
—Just so.
2. An employer can fire a person for any reason except taking the correct medication to deal with their anxiety issue.
—Not so. Employers are also prohibited from firing employees for taking the correct cancer meds. Or for eating a healthy diet. Or for favoring natural fibers.
3. Drugs, including Marijuana, can be used off premises of the workplace.
—Nice. You could be more complete with “Alcohol—and in Colorado, marijuana—can be used off premises . . . .
4. Coats took pain medication which his doctor was prescribing on a daily basis to negate his unbearable pain, yet he was fired.
Uh-huh.
5. There needs to be a revamped approach to the stigma surrounding marijuana since people use it to ease bodily pain.
—Going to town now, are you? I understand. Writing good sentences is easier than correcting bad sentences.
6. Coats was able to use marijuana outside of the workplace and still remained an effective worker.
—Good sentence.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. The Secret Service does its job well since Omar Gonzalez was stopped short of the confines of the White House.
—If he got through the front door, he entered the confines.
8. The Secret Service has been mute about the way it responded to the breach of the White House because they operated like normal, but rather how the breach occurred is under question.
—That rewrite changes the meaning too much. The original means whoever questions how the breach occurred has no questions about how the breach was handled.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson’s job is at stake because of her incompetence highlighted by her testimony before congress yesterday.
—Nice one. Unique.
10. The intruder carrying a 4-inch blade made the Secret Service agents hesitant to use force due to the weapon the intruder could’ve acted with.
—Ohhh! That’s an unusual interpretation. I always assumed it meant they would have used force against a machete, but the dinky blade didn’t qualify for deadly force.
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2. An employer can fire an employee for any reason except when the employee is taking the correct medication to deal with the issue of anxiety.
3. Having a few beers and marijuana in Colorado after work is not a fireable offense because alcohol and weed are legal.
4. Because Coats was trying to treat the pain he endured daily, he shouldn’t have been let go.
5. Discrimination against him was unnecessary when the only way to ease the pain of his multiple spasms was by using marijuana.
6. Coats was smoking on his own time and not at work causing the workplace to suffer.
7. Omar Gonzalez was able to penetrate deep into the White House because of the lack of actions of Secret Service agents.
8. The Secret Service won’t explain its actions because it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired however, her incompetence might cost her her job.
10. Because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade, Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder.
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1. Coats was fired for violating workplace policy, not because he was using a legal drug, marijuana, that he had a prescription for.
—Oh yeah.
2. An employer can fire an employee for any reason except when the employee is taking the correct medication to deal with the issue of anxiety.
—Well, you make it sound like the only exception. What if the employee is taking the correct cancer medication? Still firable?
3. Having a few beers and marijuana in Colorado after work is not a firable offense because alcohol and weed are legal.
—Smart to pair the two! 🙂
4. Because Coats was trying to treat the pain he endured daily, he shouldn’t have been let go.
—It’s not really a reason to NOT let someone go. Me: “He’s the worst employee I’ve ever hired.” You: “Yeah, but he was treating his pain. Keep him.”
5. Discrimination against him was unnecessary when the only way to ease the pain of his multiple spasms was by using marijuana.
—Not bad.
6. Coats was smoking on his own time and not at work causing the workplace to suffer.
—Sounds like his restraint was causing the workplace to suffer.
7. Omar Gonzalez was able to penetrate deep into the White House because of the lack of actions of Secret Service agents.
—Good solution if he DID penetrate deep. How would you change the sentence if he DIDN’T, which was the sense of the original?
8. The Secret Service won’t explain its actions because it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
—Didn’t solve the Not/Because dilemma. You say “not explain because.”
9. Secret Service chief Julia Pierson won’t be fired however, her incompetence might cost her her job.
—I think you mean she “won’t be fired for her testimony,” but otherwise very nice.
10. Because he was carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade, Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder.
—How big a knife would justify what level of force?
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DOGLOVER
1. Coats was fired for violating a workplace policy, not because uses prescription used marijuana
2. An employer can fire a person who hs anxiety except if they are taking medication to fix the issue
3. Employees cant get fired for having a few beers after work, or smoking marijua in Colorado.
4. Coats was fired, even thought he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis
5. It wasnt necessary to discriminate against him, all because he was using marijuana to ease his pain spasms
6. Coats smoking marijuana on his own time has nothing to do with work, because he wasnt harming anybody
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. The SSA were swift enough to not allow Omar Gonzalez to penetrate deep in the White House
8. The Secret Service isnt explaining its actions because of the way it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
9. SSC Julia Pierson might be fired because of her incompetence, not because of her testimony before congress
10. Becasue of the intruder carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade, the Secret service agents didnt use force
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1. Coats was fired for violating a workplace policy, not because uses prescription used marijuana
—”because uses”?
—”prescription used marijuana?”
2. An employer can fire a person who has anxiety except if they are taking medication to fix the issue.
—This is odd. Will the employee be fired for being anxious?
3. Employees can’t get fired for having a few beers after work, or smoking marijuana in Colorado.
—Why not “Colorado employees” or “employees in Colorado”?
4. Coats was fired, even though he was trying to treat the pain he endured on a daily basis.
—Nice.
5. It wasn’t necessary to discriminate against him, all because he was using marijuana to ease his pain spasms.
—What if you replaced “all because he was” with “for”?
6. Coats smoking marijuana on his own time has nothing to do with work, because he wasn’t harming anybody.
—Be careful with your “becauses.” You’ll hear the oddness better if you start the sentence with “Because he wasn’t harming anybody, Coats . . . .”
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. The SSA were swift enough to not allow Omar Gonzalez to penetrate deep in the White House
—Anytime you can substitute a positive verb for a negative verb construction, do it. Here you can say they “prevented” instead of “did not allow.”
8. The Secret Service isn’t explaining its actions because of the way it responded to the breach of the White House, but how the breach occurred is under question.
—Again, be more careful with “because.” Here again, swap the positions of the clauses and you’ll hear the oddness. “Because of the way it responded the White House isn’t explaining”?
9. SSC Julia Pierson might be fired because of her incompetence, not because of her testimony before congress
—Nice.
10. Because of the intruder carrying a knife with a 4-inch blade, the Secret service agents didn’t use force.
—Why did they restrain themselves? Because he had a knife? Or because the knife didn’t seem very threatening?
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2. Taking the correct mediation to deal with the issue of anxiety means an employer isn’t able to fire the person who is using it.
3. In Colorado marijuana is legal, and employees don’t get fired for going out and having a few beers after work because alcohol is legal.
4. Coats shouldn’t have been fired for treating the pain he endured on a daily basis.
5. Since he was able to ease the pain of his multiple spasms by using marijuana, it wasn’t fair for him to be discriminated against.
6. Coats was smoking marijuana on his own time and not at work, so he wasn’t harming anyone at his job.
BACKGROUND FOR 7-10: The director of the Secret Service ordered an internal review of its security procedures around the White House after a man armed with a knife who jumped the fence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue on Friday night managed to make his way through the front door of President Obama’s home before being stopped, officials said Saturday.
7. The swift actions of Secret Service agents stopped Omar Gonzalez from penetrating deep into the White House.
8. The Secret Service isn’t being asked to explain its actions, but an explanation of the breach is required.
9. Julia Pierson, the chief of the Secret Service, won’t be fired but her incompetence may cost her.
10. Secret Service agents didn’t use deadly force against the intruder as he was only carrying a 4-inch knife.
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