The Complexity of Tears

College students are constantly exposed to stress and anxiety, two complex emotional and physiological responses to both internal and external factors. Like any other human being, they must somehow free themselves from these feelings and emotions. As a college student, if I am faced with the possibility of failing a class, I can feel overwhelmed by a cascade of emotions. The conflict of failing is not just about the immediate situation of failing a course; it encompasses a broader range of feelings and emotions.

First, there is the emotional response to the potential failure itself. It’s natural to feel upset, disappointed, and perhaps even scared about what failure could mean for my academic career and future. But beyond the immediate disappointment, there is the internal dialogue that begins to unfold. I may begin to question my abilities and intelligence, wondering if I am not as smart as I thought I was. This doubt can be incredibly distressing and can shake my self-confidence.

Adding on to this, there’s the weight of my family’s external expectations. If they have high hopes for my academic success, the fear of disappointing them can add an extra layer of pressure and anxiety. The consequences of academic failure can go beyond simple personal disappointment. There may be financial implications, such as loss of scholarships or financial aid, that could affect my ability to continue my education or pursue the career path I desire. Which would make me have to find a fair justification to explain what I was doing instead of finishing the classwork, which would make me feel guilty and maybe even ashamed. I’m not crying about failure, it’s a disappointment, a feeling of worthlessness and helplessness. 

This is the reason why college students are under stress because there is nothing simple about a situation and our reactions are multiple and it is challenging to reconcile multiple reactions to a single situation. As college students, we are particularly vulnerable to all of these disappointments because we are still trying to forge and develop our personalities independently. This pressure reinforces the intensity with which we deal with the stressors to which we are exposed, that is, we take a circumstance such as having a bad grade and apply it as part of our personality, reinforcing that we are a failure.

When an individual reaches the point of shedding tears, they enter a crucial state that determines the potential therapeutic effect of their emotional release. Therapeutic crying typically involves the shedding of emotional tears, which are often triggered by primary emotions such as anger, guilt, or sadness. However, it’s important to note that these primary emotions alone do not necessarily induce crying; rather, they serve as catalysts for a cascade of other emotions that either contribute to or conflict with the initial emotion. It is this intricate interplay of emotions that ultimately leads to a sense of helplessness, prompting tears that may yield a therapeutic outcome.

To clarify this, we can look at an example of non-therapeutic crying with non-emotional tears, in this case tears of physical pain. If an individual receives a very hard slap that produces tears, that individual may become angry, but it is the pain of the slap that will cause crying to occur, which would leave no other result or effect than crying in response to the slap.

For a college student, helplessness tears comes from the initial state of feeling that something is too difficult or impossible to achieve whether related to something academic or interpersonal relationships. In the journal, “Crying: discussion of its basic reasons and uses” Maria Miceli explains that people do not usually cry in situations that are considered frustrating unless they believe that it is impossible to fix or change what is happening. It is the feeling of not being able to do anything about it, even if you want to. Miceli later explains how “Tears can also serve as weapons, i.e., they can express not only a request for help but also a sort of claim or protest.” The feeling of helplessness not only has the function of being a protest against the world, that is, the general question of: Why are things so difficult? But it also serves as a negative self-judgment, why is this so difficult for me? Empathizing, tears can be a type of emotional tool that can be implemented when an individual is feeling this catharsis of emotions that lead to helplessness, and obtain a liberating effect by being able to express a protest or a call for help to resolve the situation that arises.

Additionally, in the article, “Crying it out: The role of tears in stress and coping of college students” by Davis, Wendy Ellen, explains how for many centuries the idea of crying after stressful or helpless situations was perceived as a reserved activity for people who lack power, specifically women and children. But as the years went by and more studies were conducted, they concluded that tears could be used as a means of communication and as a protective mechanism that could then be induced into new types of therapy. That is, instead of being seen solely as a sign of weakness, tears can now be a valuable tool for college students to overcome the pressures and difficulties they encounter during their academic journey. It implies that recognizing and embracing one’s own tears can lead to healthier coping strategies and potentially open avenues for new forms of therapy tailored to the emotional needs of college students.

To explain how emotional tears are a product of a primary emotion, particularly those stemming from anger, it’s essential to recognize the intertwined nature of this primary emotion with a sense of helplessness. Tears elicited by anger may arise from various catalysts, yet they converge on a common outcome: the sensation of being powerless to enact change. According to Miceli and a study in which she conducted informal interviews with college students about the reasons why they cry, she found that many times during an altercation between two individuals, one of them is more likely to cry because of the helplessness of not being able to express the full capacity of his anger. This serves as evidence of the relationship between the main feeling (anger) and all the other feelings that derive from the frustration of feeling helpless or not being able to convert that anger into some type of action. Such instances typically occur when someone feels angry about something they consider unfair and finds themselves unable to rectify it, culminating in an outpouring of tears driven by anger. 

Similar to anger, emotional tears can also stem from other emotions such as grief and guilt. While not all university students may experience grief during their academic journey, it remains pertinent to explore this type of emotional response given the underlying state of the individual preceding the onset of tears. According to Miceli, the inability to do something goes beyond mere physical limitations but is also related to the inability to move forward after a loss. That is, it is not simply the helplessness of not being able to return to a person you lost (physically), but also the helplessness of not being able to move forward and emotionally let go of this individual that consequently leads to a cry of helplessness due to grief. As evidence, in the study carried out by Miceli, the participants gave two specific results: either they cried because they were aware that they would no longer be able to express their affection or simply talk to the person they lost again or because they did not know how to manage their emotions, making them feel incapable of moving forward on your own.

The same applies to the emotion of guilt. Individuals who feel guilty tears from the helplessness of not being able to undo what they did that harmed another individual. They can reward the individual but they cannot completely undo or erase the mistake made. Another aspect that Miceli explains in her journal is how crying out of guilt can also manifest when people feel disappointed by their actions that go against their self-perception, that is, the internal vision they have of themselves, leading to a feeling of not recognizing one’s own identity. Emphasizing the idea that tears of helpness serve as a protest that the world is unfair. In this case, the individual who is going through this moment of grief is protesting that he will never be able to get this person back and the negative self-criticism of wondering how I could have allowed this to happen and not be able to move on from this situation.

No matter how we attempt to rationalize the notion that a singular emotion acts as the primary instigator of tears in situations influenced by various factors such as anger, grief, sadness, and others, it becomes evident that a combination of complex emotions is instrumental in precipitating crying. Consequently, the quest to identify a solitary emotional reaction responsible for tears occurring reveals that it is the interaction of multiple emotions that gives rise to this expressive outcome.

To understand the complexity of this argument, let’s look at the example where we have two children and they both compete in a swimming competition in different age categories. The oldest child always wins. She wins today and we experience joy, but we don’t cry. The youngest child never wins, but today he wins and we cry. We don’t cry for the simple fact that he won a competition, on the contrary, we cry because we know all the effort that the youngest child put in to win that competition. The culmination of years of worry, doubt and anticipation. We cried with relief as we feared his disappointment, hoped for his success, and carried the weight of his struggles on our shoulders. We cried because we were worried that our focus on his sister might have overshadowed his training and we hoped he would find his own path to victory. Our tears are the repressed emotions that have been building up inside us.

When an individual goes through a situation that triggers a complex range of emotions, often these emotions are in conflict with each other, crying arises as a physical manifestation of these feelings and emotions. Tears are not the exclusive result of a singular emotion; rather, they arise from the complicated interweaving of several emotional threads. For example, if a person only feels angry toward another person, tears may not be the immediate response. However, when this anger coexists with feelings of guilt, perhaps arising from the recognition that the other person has been consistently kind, except for a failure to acknowledge a particular issue, emotional conflict develops. The inability to express oneself or without feeling bad for doing so can create a pressing need for a physical outlet, leading to the act of crying as a means of expression.

The same applies to college students who face situations that, such as failing a class, can dominate and completely change their existence and the path of their future. In the journal “Emotional Healing Through Induced Therapeutic Crying: A Mixed Method Approach” Reynold P. Varela, carry out three studies in which theories were explained about the effects that certain individuals have after crying. Varela shows as one of the results after crying was that “gives one some degree of emotional freedom to release the pain, the burden, the anger, and the emptiness.” They underscore the idea that crying serves as a release of a set of intense emotions rather than a response to a single feeling. The effect of tears, therefore, is not simply a consequence of the situation but a means to achieve resolution and emotional expression. Supporting the idea that an individual does not cry as a result of a single emotion but rather a set of intense emotions that results in the feeling of liberation. This release provides a necessary pause for emotional discharge, allowing one to gather the forces necessary for a resilient ascent.

Applying this to the previously mentioned example of college students facing situations such as failing a class, we have the pre-exam situation that includes “test prep anxiety-tears”. In this situation, the student is accumulating the fear of failure. That fear is not the fear of a test. It is the fear that, as a result, their life will surely fail because of the high standard that is imposed on obtaining an education. It’s the panic of not knowing what questions will be on the exam along with the stress of wondering if they will cry during the test. At this moment there is no liberation as everything is helplessness and panic.

After this student fails the exam, “post-failure tears” will take place. This would be due to anger at failing, and guilt for not studying enough. Panic in the face of a diminished future. There is no liberation here either. But when the student miraculously passes the test, the “tears after passing the test” occurs. They get an immense release from the panic and fear of it. They cry because they know how narrowly they escaped disaster. They cry because they are still angry at themselves for being in a situation where they could have easily failed, but they have affirmed their ability to pass even when they did not prepare as well as possible.

The effect of conflicting emotions is to cry but the effect of tears is to feel that the situation has been resolved in some way. The relief that comes from crying comes from the realization that, through this emotional release, you have found a way to express yourself. Not simply the emotions that contributed during the crisis are conveyed, but rather the frustration of dealing with these conflicting feelings without a clear resolution. According to the book “Crying: The Natural & Cultural History of Tears” by Tom Lutz, “Crying often occurs at precisely those times when we are least able to fully verbalize complex, “overwhelming” emotions, least able to fully articulate our manifold, mingled feeling.” If an individual’s capacity to communicate and convey their emotions has been thwarted by the overwhelming array of feelings, the immediate response is often tears. 

The natural drive for control is a fundamental aspect of human nature. When we face challenging situations, we can lose this sense of control due to the helplessness of not being able to express the desired feelings vocally, so gaining a sense of control can be empowering and can even help people cope with certain emotions effectively. Crying is the factor that provides a feeling of control since the individual is actively accepting that they have no control over the situation, which counterintuitive provides a feeling of power, at least in the physiological realm. Although crying may not rectify the problems that cause the emotional crisis or stop the different emotions experienced, it serves as a conduit that connects the individual with this sense of control despite the complexities of the situation.

Another factor to take into account is that in addition to the effect of tears it can provide mood stabilization. According to the journal, “Meaning and Importance of Weeping” by C.V Bellieni, who describes an analysis in which the mood of 28 people who objectively cry and 32 who did not cry was rated, compared before and immediately after watching an emotional film. The researchers concluded that, after the initial deterioration in mood after crying that was observed in laboratory studies, mood quickly became even less negative than before the emotional event. Reiterating that crying could provide a feeling of relief and security that resulted in increasing the mood of the individuals.

It is important to dismantle the concept of classification of emotional tears. The manifestation of these tears is presented as a representation of singular and intense emotion (sadness, joy, grief, empathy) or a reaction to a single factor. However, this perspective overlooks the complexities of the overall human emotional experience and the nature of tears shed in response to various factors. Emotional tears cannot be classified as arising from singular, concrete emotions. Rather, they arise from a complex interplay of multiple emotional states, often intertwined in a cascade of feelings that will end up producing tears due to the communication hindrance. 

The emotions or feelings that come from the categorization of “Emotional tears” are the trigger or the most basic emotion that can be explained in short and that applies to the situation that the individual is facing. In reality, tears shed in response to a specific event are rarely attributable solely to a primary emotion. Rather, they arise from a nuanced interaction of several emotions, each of which contributes a different emotional factor.

When an individual is going through a situation that makes them angry, there is a possibility that this individual will cry. But the reality is that this individual reflects the complex interplay of emotions and physiological responses associated with this intense feeling. The feeling of anger can be the trigger for many other intense feelings and emotions that cause crying. 

For example, consider a scenario in which an individual discovers that his or her partner has been unfaithful. In response, it is not only anger stemming from betrayal that brings tears. Rather, a host of emotions will likely arise due to this triggering emotion. The individual may experience deep sadness due to the abuse of trust, shock from the unexpected revelation, distress over the uncertain future of the relationship, and being overwhelmed by the sudden upheaval. In essence, the tears shed in this situation encapsulate a complex range of emotions beyond anger, reflecting the nature of the emotional response to betrayal.

We know that crying cannot be based on a single emotion because there is no single factor that contributes to this emotion appearing along with tears. The study “What Makes People Cry? A Preliminary Analysis of Situations that Evoke Emotional Tears” presented by Julia Wagrowska and Monika Wrobel sought to know what types of situations make people cry and what specific emotions are linked to these tears. In other words, they wanted to identify broad emotional categories and the particular events that fit into these categories. They found that “a significant portion of the items were related to feelings of frustration, helplessness, and loss of control,” even when the category was anger-induced tear situations.

In a subsequent section of the study, they mention a similar example but with the feeling of sadness. Wragrowska and Wrobel mention that tears are often related to the feeling of sadness, that is, tears are the product that occurs when an individual feels sad. They further elaborate that “Sadness is not always the dominant emotion at the onset of tears, and sadness alone does not determine the appearance of tears, as it is possible to experience sadness without crying.” This is due to the difficulty of isolating a single emotion when an individual is exposed to many factors that may be related to this emotion, that is, emotions are often intertwined and influenced by various external stimuli, internal thoughts, and past experiences. 

Another factor that supports the idea that emotional tears do not stem from a single emotion is that crying occurs as a type of non-verbal communication when there is no time to explain in detail each emotion that an individual faces. The research article “Emotional Tears Communicate Sadness but Not Excessive Emotions Without Other Contextual Knowledge” by Kenichi Ito presents a study that targeted people’s perception of tears on the face. Ito indicates that “a crying person is often interpreted as experiencing turbulent feelings and thoughts” This indicates that the individual experiencing a single, basic emotion, such as sadness or anger, generally finds it easier to reconcile and manage that emotion without resorting to tears. However, when this individual is faced with a multitude of emotions simultaneously, the emotional landscape becomes more intricate and difficult to navigate leading to tears serving as a physical manifestation of this emotional complexity. This dismantles the idea of categorizing a single emotion behind “emotional tears.”

In conclusion, naming tears as the only representation of a single emotion or reaction to a single factor overly simplifies the complexity of human emotions and the reaction that causes an individual to cry. Attempts to classify tears into singular types are challenging, as the act of crying arises as a physical outcome when individuals experience situations that provoke a complex range of conflicting emotions. This action is evident in various settings, from personal relationships to the academic challenges faced by college students. Conflicting emotions or feelings lead people to cry, but the effect of tears is the idea or feeling that the situation has been resolved in some way. The relief that comes from crying comes from the recognition that through this emotional release, one has found a way to communicate and cope with overwhelming and complex feelings that may have been difficult to articulate verbally. Furthermore, crying offers a semblance of control in difficult situations since crying is a conscious acceptance of the lack of control over a situation, paradoxically empowering individuals since they have done something about the situation, in this case crying. This suggests that crying provides a feeling of relief and security and ultimately contributes to improving overall mood.

References:

Ito K, Ong CW and Kitada R (2019) Emotional Tears Communicate Sadness but Not Excessive Emotions Without Other Contextual Knowledge. Front. Psychol. 10:878. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.00878

Wągrowska, J., & Wróbel, M. (n.d.). What Makes People Cry? A Preliminary Analysis of Situations that Evoke Emotional Tears. Central and Eastern European Online Library. Retrieved from https://www.ceeol.com/search/article-detail?id=1177951

Becht, M. C., & Vingerhoets, A. J. J. M., (1997). Crying and Mood: A Cross Cultural Study Department of Clinical Health Psychology, Tilburg UniversityTilburg, The
Netherlands

Bellieni, C. V. (2017). Meaning and importance of weeping. New Ideas in Psychology, 47, 72-76. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.newideapsych.2017.06.003

Lutz, T. (2001). Crying: The Natural & Cultural History of Tears. https://books.google.com/books?hl=es&lr=&id=Nb1f9MpgO8IC&oi=fnd&pg=PA13&dq=crying+releases+emotions+&ots=P3NEs2YTwA&sig=xejiuCM9bk7Ky3wBlgU59XpPG2U

Crying it out: The role of tears in stress and coping of college students – ProQuest. (n.d.). https://www.proquest.com/openview/abe7e7a883acae12b100cd7753bb6641/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=18750&diss=y

Miceli, M., & Castelfranchi, C. (2003). Crying: Discussing its basic reasons and uses. New Ideas in Psychology, 21, 247-273. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.newideapsych.2003.09.001