Robust Verbs- Calm&Patient

The city of Vancouver is struggling with a large problem. Heroin addicts are turning to criminal activities to help their addictions. Its goal is to help through “free heroin for addicts”, however addiction related crimes are still an issue. This messes up their employment chances as well as their ability to maintain relationships and social interactions due to their addiction. While looking for drugs, they might resort to crimes like robberies and thefts. This program does not address addiction specifically but only tries to control crime rates associated with drug addiction. Even though it might temporarily reduce street crime and cut down hospital visits because of unsafe drug use when people start using heroin again, it does not address the underlying issue. Even though its purpose is to control the addiction problem, the plan doesn’t truly work and break down the layers of addiction.

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Visual Rewrite – ExcellentStudent

0:00-0:03. Right off the bat we are greeted with a crowded bar, there are two men socializing, both with drinks in their hands. We can assume they are intoxicated, given the large smiles and the authors choice of setting. It seems like the main focus is the man at the bar, who looks like he is grabbing a drink. From the darker lighting we can also assume it is later at night. The man at the bar looks down at his new drink as if he is questioning his decision.

0:04-0:06. We see another scene, this one a crowded party during the day outside. There is a younger man having a conversation with a red solo cup in his hand. It is safe to assume there is alcohol in this cup. There are also many others around him with plenty of red solo cups having a good time socializing. The man looks down at his drink and hesitates, similar to what was done in the first scene mentioned above.

0:07- 0:08. A third scene. Yet another party, this one looks like a tailgate. There 5 people socializing, with once again solo cups. We can assume there is alcohol in them as well due to the bottles of wine and beer on the table. In this scene the main character that is being focused on does not look at their drink and hesitate.

0:09-0:11. Cuts back to the original scene. You can see the man reaching in to his pocket with a confused look on his face. I would assume he is looking for a phone, to either check the time or text a friend. I made this assumption because the bartender appears to be cleaning up in the background. This indicates that it is late and the bar is closing soon.

0:12-0:13. Cuts back to the second scene at the outdoor party/BBQ. Here we see a similar situation with the character looking in his pockets for an item. This contradicts my precious statement but this scene doesn’t necessarily give any hints towards the fact that he reaching for a phone. Because I know the title of the video, i have made a new assumption that both characters from this scene and the one before are reaching for their car keys.

0:14-0:15. Cuts to the third scene. The main focused character in this scene catches car keys that are thrown to him. This could be the authors way of saying this character i being pressured in to driving while intoxicated by someone else, because he is given his keys, instead of finding them himself in his own pockets. He looks at the keys in hesitation similar to how the first two looked at their drinks in hesitation.

0:16-0:18. Back to the first scene. The main focused character is now the only one on screen. He pulls keys out of his pocket. He looks at them in hesitation, then looks up towards the camera in confusion. This is the filmmakers way of showing the hesitation in the characters next decision.

0:18-0:19. Cuts back to the second scene. Now only the main character in focus. There are no keys shown, however the character seems to have a hesitant gaze, then smirks. This is could be the filmmakers way of indicating that they are making a rash decision.

0:20-0:22. Quick cuts from all three scene happen in these two seconds. From each scene you can see each character either place their key back in their pocket or, in the case of the third scene, toss his keys back to where they came from. This contradicts my previous claims that led me to believe that a poor decision may have been made to drive while intoxicated.

0:23-0:30. This is the last scene in the short film. We can see the character of the third scene entering the backseat a vehicle. They also buckle up to ensure yet another measure of safety. They smile as if they are happy with the good decision they made. A banner appear on the screen reading “Plan Ahead. Catch a Sober Ride”. This is part of the filmmakers message. After a second another banner appears. This one reads, “Buzzed Driving is Drunk Driving”. This is the main claim the filmmaker is trying to get across.

I am willing to spend 30 minutes of revisions from your feedback.

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Robust Verbs- NatureChild

Vancouver faces turmoil with heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. In an attempt to combat the issue, The “free heroin for addicts” program was established in hopes for addicts to get off the streets and a decrease in crime rates to occur. Maintaining daily activities such as jobs, interactions, and relationships are difficult for addicts because actively using affects behavioral, emotional, and logical responses. The addictive feeling of heroin drives users to commit crimes such as breaking and entering as well as stealing to temporarily regain the feeling they once had. No limitations stand in place on how to retrieve this drug. The flaw in the program is that the goal is not to help addicts stop using so they’ll live better lives, Its only to save the city from an additional rise in crime rates. The program’s knowledge is, by providing the drug, addicts will be off the streets, which reduces minor street crimes. Keeping heroin users out of the hospital is an additional goal. It is pointless for hospitals to treat patients who want to keep hurting themselves with bad drugs or unsanitary needles. Addiction leaves users unable to afford hospital bills and inconsolable without the drug.”Free heroin for addicts” enables people to continue their habits with free heroin in the cleanest way possible. In turn, this will fix the city but not the addiction that these people face. The real goal was never to help people get better to live stable lives, just to put them out of sight, out of mind.

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Robust Verbs- Username


Vancouver is facing huge problems with a rising problem of heroin addicts creating an unsafe community by committing crimes in order to support their habits. In order to try and combat this rising issue, there has been a program created called, “free heroin for addicts” with the intentions to try and stop these addicts. Addicts often have many hardships and issues with succeeding through life. Relationships get affected as well as important relationships. It may not always be easy to acquire heroin, so in order to do so, these addicts may have to commit crimes in order to get the funds they need to get their heroin. The “free heroin for addicts” program may seem great on paper, but in reality, the addicts themselves are not the main focus of this program. The main focus is saving Vancouver, and making it a better place. Vancouver is seemingly just wanting their name cleared, and is not going to help the addictions that these people face. 

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Robust Verb — Ilovebees

Vancouver faces a significant problem with heroin addicts committing crimes to fuel their habits, leading to the creation of a “free heroin for addicts” program aimed at addressing this issue. However, the program faces challenges such as making addicts maintain daily activities (jobs, interactions, and relationships) due to their substance abuse which leads them to continue to engage in criminal behavior to support their addiction. Addiction drives heroin users to desperate measures to obtain the drug, leading to crimes such as breaking and theft. The program’s focus on providing heroin may reduce street crimes and hospital visits related to unsanitary drug use. While the program aims to improve the city’s safety, it does not offer a solution to the addiction crisis.

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Robust verbs – temporal

A huge problem in Vancouver is heroin addicts committing crimes to support their habits. The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the large crime rate due to the addicts. Day to day activities become increasingly more difficult, such as completing daily activities, jobs, interactions, and maintaining relationships. Because heroin users are addicted, they will do whatever they have to do to get their hands on the drug, such as breaking and entering. The problem with this program is that it won’t help to ween these addicts off using heroin, it is only trying to save the city from rising crime rates that they’re up to. By providing the drug, these addicts will be off the streets, which in turn will prevent them from committing minor street crimes, which will also keep the heroin users out of the hospital. It is pointless that the hospitals have to deal with people that want to use bad drugs or unsanitary needles and who find themselves being unable to afford hospital bills or cope without the drug. This program gives people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. This will in turn fix the city but not the addiction that these people face.

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Robust Verbs — Holistic 25

The overarching problem of heroin addicts in Vancouver is the crimes they commit to support their habits. To address the crime rate, the program named “free heroin for addicts” has been created to mitigate heroin addicts from acting on their impulsive instincts to commit crimes to receive their heroin. Through the lens of policy makers, the problem lies in the large crime rate, thought to be instigated by these addictive patterns and behaviors by heroin addicts. Addictive behaviors pose a threat to daily livelihood, illuminated by instability in jobs and relationships. A tell-tale sign of addiction in a heroin addict is doing whatever they can to do to get their hands on the drug, even if that means committing crimes and stealing. Feeding addiction has no means to an end because addicts are continually trying to compensate for their insatiable craving for the drug. Although the merit of the “free heroin for addicts” poses a touching sentiment, the program only addresses a symptom of heroin addicts, the crime rate. At face value, the program should reduce crime rate because the availability of the drug comes with no cost, monetarily and on a societal level. In theory, the burden heroin addicts pose will be less to society. However, a more suitable program for heroin users, such as confronting their impulsive behaviors that accompany the drug, would address the problem at its core.

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Robust verbs- thatpersonoverthere

In Vancouver heroin addicts are committing crimes to get their fix. They’ll do anything to drive the high heroin gives them, even resorting to petty theft. This causes a the addicts to underperform in their daily lives. Their jobs and social lives are casualties to their addictions. In order to fix one part of the problem Vancouver introduces a program called “free heroin for addicts”.

The “free heroin for addicts” program is doing everything they can to stop the addicts, the only issue is that it perpetuates the problem. See as the name implies the program actually gives them the heroin in the vein hope that it will lower crime and heroin hospitalizations. That may seem a bit counterintuitive, and it is as the program also seeks to keep these people addicted out of the hospital and to stop crimes which it seems to do but there is no incentive for the program to actually get the addicts off their drug.

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PTSD- breakingbad45

  1. So tonight, six years after Caleb’s service ended

This is a factual claim because it is discussing a factual thing thatches happened and is proven by the date

2. “Brannan is cautiously optimistic but ready for anything on Lasagna Night.

This is a hypothetical claim because it says Brandon is ready for anything but in reality he isn’t truly for every scenario during the night, therefore he has no truth to being ready for anything.

3. “many of them in Ramadi; a lot of bad things happened in Ramadi

4. “These are supposed to be her easy months, she sighs, April and May and June,” 

5. “if he’d have managed to kill him like he was supposed to, then the sniper wouldn’t have gotten off the shot that killed his buddy.

This is an opinion based claimed because many people may have a different opinion on Ramadi and their experiences there. The second I deal also makes the most sense of this idea because people would only believe April, May and June could be easy, for some people. Others still have hard times during the summer making this opinion based.

6. That’s usually September through January, the “really bad” months

 7. Later, she reminds me that Lasagna Night can come apart in an instant, if Caleb has a “bad PTSD moment.” 

This is an example of a hypothetical claim because some people could think of this as bad months but if where being realistic many people do not believe in that idea at all. The second example is as well a hypothetical because it is giving you a scenario that is not in the set of events that is currently happening and making it a hypothetical if it were to happen.

 8. “Now, she lets it go, until eventually, after a couple of days or weeks of refusing to leave the house, or refusing to stay home and just disappearing outside, he comes to her.” 

9. And then she’ll just sit and listen while he says he cannot get it out of his head,

This is evidence of a personal claim, this is a personal story of someone’s point of view of the story and how they see and portray the characters

10. Haven’t you noticed I’m having a bad time?

This is a questionable claim when a character is asking or questioning the idea or setting of the story.

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Visual Rewrite – breakingbad45

0.01-0.08

The music begins to start in what seems to be somewhat of an orchestral sound to the commercial. You can see in the beginning of the shot you can see the hands off an older woman. You can tell by the jewelry on her hands as well as light blue dress in the glance that we have. She is sitting on what seems to look like a bed as she opens up a scrap book you can tell by the motion as she opens it she is glancing at older photos, you can notice the pictures of family members in the pages showing that it is a older women reminiscing on the past. The women says “My son Andrew was always to be a joy around”. Making it seem as if something has happened. Then it cuts to a far shot of the mother reading and looking at the scrapbook. She is in what seems to be like her own living room you can notice this by the couch she is sitting on in the center of the room. You can see the foam like table in from of her feet and windows behind her. This was showing that she was in her home. The shot then cuts to her son in a photo as a child. You can tel it was past tense from the photo as well as seeing the kids clothing in the picture. The first photo of him is him as a baby as he is in a blue puffer jacket, with a red hood and glasses. He looks like he could be less than 2 in the photo. The next picture is an older version of her son still a kid but not as young, he is driving it what seems to be a boat with someone. He is wearing a red shirt with a blue life jacket as right behind him is the bright blue ocean. The last and final photo you see her son in yellow short sleeve button up. He is with a girl in the photo that is a wearing a light blue blouse with what seems to be flowers on it. They are both smiling seeming very happy.

0.08-0.14

The shot cuts to the happy mother looking down at the scrapbook of photos. You can see she is very happy by her demeanor. Behind her seems to be a type of painting behind her in the corner. She is flipping through the pictures and it seems as if she is thinking about the past. “Thats why when I found out Andrew was suddenly fired for being gay my heart just broke.’ The mom says this and the mood completely changes. The scene cuts to an empty classroom and you can see the seats in what seems to be a music room has no students. You can feel the emptiness of the classroom. The camera then cuts to 2 separate angle shots to show the empty choir room showing that Andrew used to be a music teacher. The emptiness of the classroom I believe is to show the emptiness that Andrew feels inside after realizing he was let go. You can tell it’s also a music room in the school because of the music note around the classroom, as well as the stage like area for the students to sing. They also showed the angles I believe to show the classroom as well as the emptiness that was the school without the teaching of Andrew.

0.14-0.20

The next shot is the outside of a diner.You can notice this because it has the name of the restaurant as the “One Man Band Diner The mom then says that ” As a parent, how do you prepare a child for something like that.” Showing that the mother is truly concerned of how poorly her son was treated by people. “. This shot is an establishing shot showing where the current narrator or character is at the time.The mother is sitting inside of the diner and you can tell she has a nervous look on her face. The diner itself looks empty or maybe it could be showing the inside view of her head. You see when the shot cuts to a much closer shot you can see in her eyes something deep is on her mind. She may be wondering how her son is feeling or maybe what is my son going through The mother is seen in the shot twiddle her thumbs to show she may be nervous. The shot is looking only at her hands as she is having them near her lap as she is getting more tense. You can tell the suspense of all of this is truly bothering her and she wants to let out what she is feeling emotionally.

0.20-0.23

The mom then says ” I hope we can get to a place will be treated with respect, equality and love.’ This quote is showing her internal feelings on the subject. A man is seen in the shot with I big smile as he slides into the booth to talk to her mother. This person is Andrew This is obviously the son the way he is portrayed and the way he is carrying himself. He is wearing a purple button up just like he was in the photos as a kid. He has a light mustache and a big smile as he sees her. The mother is filled with much joy as she sees her ready to embrace her son.The mother and son are holding hands over the table of the diner. In the shot you can only see their hands as they hold each other and caress one another showing their strong bond and love for one another.

0.25-0.30

You can see a close up face of the mother and her rejoiced face as every worry and stress in her mind has been relieved. She can see in the eyes of her son and feel that love that never went away as a kid. The mother and son are seen in a far angle at the bar in a very happy mood to see one another showing the love that they have for each other and as well the impact the both give one another. She issued wording something to him, I assume it is some way she is greeting him or seeing how he is doing. You can see a man close to the camera holding his magazine reading away. There is then white text that says ” in 30 states it is legal to fire , evict or deny the service to LGBT peopleThe camera cuts to an add in which it has a black border and carries a white text and yellow highlights in the text. The text itself says ” Get the facts at BeyondIDO.org “, then leads to the end of the add.

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