Robust Verbs- The Gamer2.0

Vancouver faces huge difficulties with the rise of heroin addicts developing an unsafe community with the crimes that are committed in order to support their habit. To achieve a goal of stopping the addicts, a program was created called “Free heroin for addicts” in order for this goal to be fulfilled. Due to these addicts the problem of large crime rates have risen which results in the addicts having a difficult time to complete tasks. With the use of constant addictive drugs activities are hard to maintain such as jobs, interactions, and relationships. The addictive drugs forced the user to make unsensible decisions just to get their hands on the drug.  Crimes like breaking, entering and entering are just some of the acts committed by the user of heroin. The addicts are willing to take any precaution to get this drug so that they are able to satisfy their addiction. Addiction is not something that is simply extinguished and this program will be hard to do that. Their only objective is to reduce the rising crime rate in the city rather than helping these individuals and in the process keeping the users out of the hospital. With the addicts on verge of overdosing using unsanitary needles, bad drugs, and being unstable to pay for the hospital bills and living without drugs. The program goal is to get the individuals off the streets and give people free heroin in the cleanest way possible. Vancouver will turn to a clean and safe place for people and free from addicts with the help of this program and the ones that are willing to change.

This entry was posted in Robust Verbs, TheGamer2.0. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Robust Verbs- The Gamer2.0

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    You’ve made changes, TheGamer, but they don’t often result in more Robust sentences.

    When you use two sentences to describe the crimes addicts commit for drug money, your verbs are ARE and ARE, both of them forms of the verb “to be” that you were supposed to be eliminating. BREAKING and ENTERING are good strong verbs hiding in your sentences. Use them.

    NOT:

    Crimes like breaking, entering and entering ARE just some of the acts committed by the user of heroin. The addicts ARE willing to take any precaution to get this drug so that they are able to satisfy their addiction.

    INSTEAD:

    Addicts BREAK into cars, BURGLARIZE homes, and SELL their bodies to earn the money to satisfy their addictions.

    You also need to write complete sentences. This one isn’t:

    With the addicts on verge of overdosing using unsanitary needles, bad drugs, and being unstable to pay for the hospital bills and living without drugs.

    Graded. Eligible for revision and regrade. Remember to put your work into the Regrade category so I’ll know you’ve improved it.

    Like

Leave a comment