Visual Rewrite—Snowman

0:00 – The video starts with a close-up of a leg, dressed in grey pants and green socks, on a wooden floor. It suggests someone is engaged in some form of activity, though the specifics are not immediately clear. Further details about the clothing, surroundings, and the activity would help paint a clearer picture and provide context for the scene.

0:01-0:02 – The scene transitions to reveal two individuals joyfully dancing in a cozy kitchen, likely a grandmother and granddaughter. Their synchronized movements and beaming expressions suggest a strong familial bond. The setting adds to the intimate atmosphere, and it seems like they might be recording the dance for social media platforms like TikTok, adding a modern twist to their interaction.

0:03-0:04 – A third person, possibly the mother, joins the dancers with a smile that seems both amused and concerned, adding depth to their relationship dynamics. The possibility of the granddaughter being the daughter of one of the dancers reinforces the family theme.

0:05-0:08 – The energy of their dance is contagious, evident in their smiles and expressions. The grandma’s smile and eye contact with her daughter hint at pride and resilience, suggesting she’s saying, “Look at me handling everything gracefully.” Exploring more about the grandma’s feelings and the daughter’s response would add depth to the analysis.

0:09-0:13 – The bond between the grandmother and granddaughter is highlighted as they share a light moment at the dinner table. The spread suggests abundance and hospitality, but there’s a subtle tension hinted at by the grandma’s distracted demeanor. Understanding why she’s uneasy would enhance the interpretation.

0:14-0:15 – The grandma seems lost in thought, contemplating something deeply. This vulnerable moment contrasts with the earlier joy and suggests underlying worries. Exploring her emotional state further would help understand her character better.

0:16-0:20 – The grandma’s moment of introspection is interrupted by her daughter, leading to a pivotal moment in the narrative. It hints at tensions within the family dynamic. Exploring the daughter’s role as a caregiver and her response to her mother’s emotions would provide valuable insights.

0:21-0:23 – The daughter’s concern for her mother is evident as she gently asks about her well-being. Despite the grandma’s reassurances, her daughter’s intuition suggests otherwise. This highlights the complexity of family relationships and communication challenges.

0:24-0:25 – There’s a subtle tension as the characters exchange glances, hinting at unspoken concerns. The grandma’s distracted behavior adds complexity to the scene, leaving the reader intrigued about her inner turmoil. Exploring more about the daughter’s response and the grandma’s emotional journey would deepen the narrative.

0:26-0:27 – The scene shifts to focus on the grandmother and her daughter in the family room, suggesting a continuation of their earlier conversation. This change in setting adds visual interest and shifts the dynamics between the characters. Exploring their interactions further would provide fresh insights into their relationship dynamics and the underlying tensions.

0:28-0:30 – The daughter’s reassurance to her mother serves as a touching conclusion to the sequence, highlighting their strong familial bond. Despite challenges, her unwavering support offers hope for the future. Analyzing their emotional journey and themes of resilience and love would enrich the interpretation, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

In this visual narrative, emotions (PATHOS) take center stage, guiding the audience through a heartfelt journey of familial bonds and support. While logical progression (LOGOS) and ethical considerations (ETHOS) are present, it’s the emotional depth of joy, concern, and reassurance that resonates most strongly. Through relatable scenes and genuine expressions, viewers are drawn into the story, forging a powerful connection with the characters and their experiences. It’s this emotional appeal that makes the message impactful and enduring, leaving a lasting impression on the audience.

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2 Responses to Visual Rewrite—Snowman

  1. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    Snowman, you haven’t told me how much or how little time to spend on your Feedback, so I’ll just wing it, and you’ll owe me the same amount of time on revisions as I spend on Feedback.

    I may not proceed all the way to the end of the assignment.

    —I haven’t watched the video this semester, but I did watch it six months ago when a FA23 student chose it, so I remember some things. I’ll respond to some of your material with that background knowledge.

    0:00 – The video begins with a close-up of a single person’s leg, suggesting they are engaged in some form of activity, possibly walking, working out, or dancing.

    • That’s much too vague, Snowman.
    • A person’s leg from the knee to the pelvis, from the knee to the toes? barefoot? in tights? wearing boots? Are you sure it’s just one leg?
    • Those forms of activity are pretty diverse. Is there no way to determine what we’re looking at?
    • How does a single leg “suggest” working out or dancing?

    0:01-0:02 – The scene transitions to reveal two individuals dancing. Their bond hints at a familial relationship, possibly a granddaughter and grandmother. Their joyful expressions and parallel moves suggest they are enjoying a lighthearted dance together, possibly creating content for social media platforms like reels or shorts.

    • I remember this part fairly well.
    • The camera stays in on a pair of juvenile legs in some kind of casual pants.
    • I recall worrying about them dancing on the wood floor in socks. The thought of splinters went through my head.
    • I also recall they were in a house, not a dance studio, in what turned out to be the kitchen.
    • There’s an overall sense of comfort and security and joy in the first few seconds. Not opulence, though, some chipped paint here and there, a casual comfort.
    • You suggest a grandmother is dancing, and I love the idea that they might be recording themselves for a TikTok video. That seems right.
    • But that’s a VERY SPECIAL kind of grandmother, isn’t it?
    • You don’t tell us anything at all about her.
    • It’s your job to begin to draw conclusions about what you’re shown and to share those CONCLUSIONS with your reader.
    • Now. Whether we like it or not (we usually don’t want to admit it), we’re making judgments about all the characters, their home, their living situation, their relationships.
    • The characters could belong to any number of types or stereotypes. It’s NOT OUR FAULT that we are judging. It’s what HUMANS DO. These actors were CHOSEN from dozens (maybe hundreds) of auditioners because they send the visual impression that they belong to some demographic or other. We are SUPPOSED to draw conclusions, fair or not, about their lives and situation.

    0:03-0:04 – As the two continue dancing joyfully, a third person enters the scene with a smile, looking at them. She appears to be younger, possibly the daughter of the grandma.

    • This I remember very clearly: the “mother” (you’re right to jump to all these conclusions about the family) is not at all certain she approves of the dance scene. I don’t recall the gesture, but she poses a hand near her face in some indication of worry.
    • It’s possible Granny (no matter how youthfully she may be dancing) gets too animated (prescription meds? cooking sherry? manic days?) and then crashes, or has accidents.
    • Maybe that’s why the threat of the splinters through the socks registered with me as a premonition of danger.

    It’s natural to guess, and the filmmakers know that, so they drop enough hints to guide us to draw conclusions. If we guess wrong, IT’S THE FILMMAKER’S MISTAKE.

    Either that, or we’re being deliberately manipulated to draw false first impressions so the ad can SURPRISE us with a socially-conscious insight such as: “See? Grandmas don’t have to be frail and curmudgeonly.”

    See if that helps you share more of the details of what you’re seeing. You’ve done a nice job of interpreting the FEELINGS of the piece, but readers will have no idea how you came to your conclusions.

    I’ll provisionally Grade this post on Canvas when you’ve completed at least 30 minutes of revisions.

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  2. davidbdale's avatar davidbdale says:

    There’s nice work going on here, Snowman, but there’s also this:

    Further details about the clothing, surroundings, and the activity would help paint a clearer picture and provide context for the scene. Exploring more about the grandma’s feelings and the daughter’s response would add depth to the analysis. Understanding why she’s uneasy would enhance the interpretation. Exploring her emotional state further would help understand her character better. Exploring the daughter’s role as a caregiver and her response to her mother’s emotions would provide valuable insights. Exploring more about the daughter’s response and the grandma’s emotional journey would deepen the narrative. Exploring their interactions further would provide fresh insights into their relationship dynamics and the underlying tensions. Analyzing their emotional journey and themes of resilience and love would enrich the interpretation, leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

    That’s a collection of the many times you repeated your assertion that the video doesn’t tell us what we need to know and makes us wait for clarification. But it DOESN’T tell us what we learn from what we’re looking at. Your analysis of the scenes is VERY LIGHT on visual details.

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