Are Multi-Vitamins Dangerous?
The fact that vitamins are supposed to be so good for a person’s health and they are supposed to enhance a person’s health, it comes off as counterintuitive that maybe in reality, vitamin’s do not really do what we think they do. People take vitamins religiously, thinking that it will help them to get nutrients that their diet may lack.
Many studies have been conducted that had the same result: vitamins are not improving our health the way they are thought to. It turns out that all the diseases that multi vitamins are supposed to protect against, they do not effect those diseases what so ever, according to studies that were taken.
It seems that many people that take multi vitamins, get all the needed nutrients from food. They take the multi vitamins to fill the voids of missing vitamins, yet it turns out they mostly receive the nutrients through their diet anyways.
Elephant Cruelty
It seems counterintuitive that although an elephant is clearly very sick, citrus vets allow them and push them to perform anyways. Elephants start into the circus at a young age, yet if they were wild elephants they would still be with their mothers.
The way the circus treats elephants is not right. They allowed a three year old elephant to die because they did not give him proper medical care and he then bled out and was found in his stall. It is easy to believe that this is not the only case that elephants were neglected in the circus environment. They do not care for these animals properly and they are started to get figured out more and more by animal rights agencies.
Elephants are animals that deserve to be cared for properly just like any other animal that is kept in captivity. These circus companies keep these elephants and travel with them and perform shows with them, so the elephants endure a lot of work. These animals require to be taken care of and these circus owners obviously are not doing their part in that. Without being cared for the right way, it is obvious to see what can happen to the elephants as a result of not getting proper treatment.
Organ Donor Vultures
It seems counterintuitive that doctors would falsely accuse someone to be dead just because they are organ donors. People who do good things like signing up to donate their organs should receive good karma, but being falsely accused of being dead does not seem like the kind of good karma they would expect.
Doctors pronounced a man brain dead in order to try and get his organs to give them to people on the waiting list. This man was, in fact, not brain dead. For these doctors to do something so wrong and almost selfish really shocks me. One thing I noticed is that they wanted this man’s organs so they could help save the lives of many people on the wait list.
It is as if they felt they were still doing something good in the medical world by falsely pronouncing a mad dead because in return they would be able to save the lives of many people. This is like saying one man’s life is worth the lives of others but really this man was not ready to die at all. For doctors to try and save others lives by taking the life of someone innocent for the sole reason of using their organs is disgusting.
If it was not for the man’s daughter and a nurse, they never would have brought in another doctor and man who was not dead yet, would have been concluded as brain dead. In the eyes of those two doctors, his life was not worth it and he was not good enough for them to pronounce him not dead, but this man is good enough to pronounce dead in order to take his organs.
This is a huge problem because in return to an act like this, less and less people are going to choose to become organ donors because how that man was treated and concluded as dead was a result of him being a good person and being an organ donor.
The Gamer 2.0
SleepyCat
Coffee Lover 03
doglover7025
Snowman10
excellentstudent27
Gymrat
hockeyfan
holistic25
ilovebeesss
ilovemydog
The Gamer
Naturechild101
BreakingBad45
ravensfan8
temporal111
thatpersonoverthere
toetio
username1132005
Calm&Patient
webbwrestler135
Counterintuitive Spring 2024 
feedback was requested
Feedback provided. —DSH
LikeLike
Hey, taddo. Let’s rock.
1. You ask “Are Multi-Vitamins Dangerous?” but you don’t answer. Instead your summary addresses the question of whether they’re useful. That’s not in itself a bad question, but not the one you asked. I’ll address your language use later.
2. I’m not sure you put your finger directly on what’s counterintuitive, but you do a better job here than in 1 of writing persuasive summary. You never lose sight of the simple and powerful complaint that captive performing elephants would be better off in the wild.
3. Your phrase “accused of being dead” is hilarious, taddo. I hope you mean it to be amusing. I wonder whether the weakness of the argument here results from weakness of the original source. You say it’s easy to imagine that the practice of premature death pronouncement is common, but it’s just as easy to imagine that this case you cite is an isolated one. And we have no idea from your summary what the patient’s actual prognosis was. Were the doctors wrong by years? By an hour? Did the patient recover meaningful life? Knowing the answers could make your argument MUCH more effective.
OK. Now to language.
I’ll do this for you once without asking. If you find it helpful and want to keep working on sentence structure to the end of the course, tell my in your Reply that you’d appreciate more of this close work in future. I’ll be happy to continue this process with you every time if it helps.
The Multi Vitamin Summary
Most of your sentences are written without a plan, it seems, taddo. You get halfway through and then hit reset by referring back to the first half with an “it” or a “they” to name your subject for the second time. That may be a confusing explanation, so I’ll demonstrate how to eliminate the second subject and streamline your language.
1. The fact that vitamins are supposed to be so good for a person’s health and they are supposed to enhance a person’s health, IT comes off as counterintuitive that maybe in reality, vitamin’s do not really do what we think they do.
2. People take vitamins religiously, thinking that IT will help them to get nutrients THAT their diet may lack.
3. Many studies have been conducted THAT had the same result: vitamins are not improving our health the way they are thought to.
4. IT turns out that all the diseases THAT multi vitamins are supposed to protect against, THEY do not effect those diseases what so ever, according to studies THAT were taken.
5. IT seems that many people THAT take multi vitamins, get all the needed nutrients from food.
6. They take the multi vitamins to fill the voids of missing vitamins, yet IT turns out they mostly receive the nutrients through their diet anyways.
New Paragraph, first draft:
New Paragraph, second draft:
For starters, use the first draft as a good model, taddo. Try it out on your second and third summaries. And do let me know if you want this type of very thorough recommendation.
Grade Code 7D0
Grades are decoded at Professor Conferences.
Make an appointment at the Conferences page.
LikeLike
I really valued this feedback. The sentence by sentence demonstration really made me realize my sentences can become wordy. I enjoyed this feedback very much.
LikeLike
That’s kind of you to say, taddo, but you never revised your post following all that feedback.
LikeLike